Flowers of Failed Feelings {MomoJirou}

Flatline

Jirou's POV:

"I thought she was you're best friend. I thought you loved her."

"I-I do."

"Then why did you let her die?"

I covered my sobbing face within my hands. I tried to wipe the tears away from my blurry vision. My chest was heaving and I could barely breathe. I broke down into violent coughing. There were no flowers but just blood.

"That's pathetic. You can't even fathom what Momo was going through. You were supposed to know her best, yet you didn't actually know anything."

"It wasn't  supposed to turn out this way. I was supposed to confess, and everything would have been fine."

"But you waited like a goddamn idiot. All it took was three words that night. This is completely your fault. She's dead because of you."

I fell on all fours, vomiting flowers everywhere.

"Take this."

I glanced at the knife that was kicked to me across the floor.

"You can use that to either fully grasp her pain or die with her."

I pick up the knife, pointing it at my stomach.

"Do it, Jirou. Stop believing this isn't truly your fault. Wake up to reality, Ms. Jirou."

I gulped as I put the point of the knife against my stomach. Was it actually all my fault?

"Wake up, Ms. Jirou"

Am I the reason Momo is dead?

"You need to wake up, Ms. Jirou."

It is only right... that I die too.  

"MS. JIROU, WAKE UP!"

My eyelids flew open to the doctor shaking me. I was laying in a hospital bed and my clothes were replaced with a hospital gown.

"Jirou, you need to get up now. I'll explain everything later."

My head was throbbing, as he helped me out the bed. He grabbed my wrist pulling me out the room. People were running through the hallways, and they all seemed to be going to one place.

"Momo flatlined."

My heart dropped as I heard those words. 

"The defibrillators aren't working on her, and her hanahaki is spreading so rapidly that  the surgery isn't even an option now. She loves you, and you love her, right?"

"Y-Yes."

"Then you're her last hope."

He took me to her room where she was surrounded my doctors and nurses. The line on the heart monitor did not move and let out a long ringing noise.

"Everyone, move back!"

I dashed to Momo's side. What was I even supposed to do? 

Momo, you can't die.

I was performing CPR on her, while confessing my love for her over and over again. I didn't know what I was doing and neither did the medical professionals around me. Tears rolled down my face as she didn't show any signs of waking up. That's when I felt like everything was useless. I put my ear against her chest. There was no heartbeat. I would never get to hear that calming thumping rhythm when I rested my head on her chest ever again. She was just a lifeless, hallow corpse. I cried into her gown, as I was urged to get off her, but the doctor told them to leave me be. I screamed as tears streamed violently down my cheeks.

"Ms. Jirou, it's time to go."

I didn't move. I couldn't move. Knowing she died because she loved me made me want to die too. I held on tightly to her gown because I didn't want to let her go. I buried my face into the crook of neck, which is where I continued to sob. I repeatedly chanted "I love you," in hopes she would respond, even when the truth rested in her still heart . I could feel the flowers crawling up my throat, but I didn't care. I had lost the love of my life. Nothing mattered anymore.

But then I heard hope. It was a small but noticeable thump in her chest. The heart monitor started to beep again. Before I could utter a word, I felt a hand rest softly on my head. I looked up to see Momo struggling to open her eyes. My tears were now overflowing. I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek.

"That's it. Wake up, Momo."

Her eyes finally opened, and she settled them on me. I took the breathing mask off of her. 

She put a small smile on her face, "You look like shit."

I immediately leaned in and kissed her on the lips, "I love you."

"I love you more."

I could feel the flowers in my lungs vanish like they were never there.