Flowers of Failed Feelings {MomoJirou}

Painfully So

Momo's POV:
I had done it again. Recently, I wasn't able to control my impulses. It gave me relief of the pain growing inside me. I stumbled my way to my bedroom, undetected by my classmates. I allowed the lines on my arms to continue to bleed. I fell onto my bed, letting tears flow down my cheeks. After awhile, I heard a knock on my door, which made me jolt.

The knocking continued, "Yaomomo, it's Jirou."

"What do you want?" I asked straightforwardly.

I didn't intend on being rude to her, but she was the last person I wanted to see right now. A purple petal fell from my mouth.

"I have something important to talk to you about."

I pulled down the sleeves of my shirt and got up. I opened the door to her concerned face. Before I could say anything, she quickly came inside and locked the door behind her.

"Sit down."

I did as she instructed and raised my brow. She quickly grabbed my hand, and I yanked it back.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Pull up your sleeves, Momo."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"No, I don't have to do shit. Get out of my room!"

"I'm not leaving until you pull up your sleeves."

"Jirou, I don't know what the fuck is going on, but please leave me the hell alone right now."

Her face fell, and I saw tears start to well up in her eyes, "Yaomomo, what's wrong? You never curse like this."

Looking at her expression hurt me. I turned my head to avoid her sad eyes. 

"Please tell me what's wrong with you or what you're going through. You're obviously not your self right now, and you look like shit."

"Blunt as usual, huh?"

"Momo, roll up your fucking sleeves, or I swear to God, I'll do it for you."

"Is that a threat?" I said, quirking a brow at the words that came from her mouth. 

She remained unimpressed with my resistance, "Do you want to find out?"

I noticed how her voice wavered a bit and how her hands were balled up at her side, visibly shaking. She was worried. 

I sighed as I rolled up my sleeves. She took my arms and flip them over and looked up at me.

"Momo, why? Why would you do this to yourself?"

"You've seen what you wanted, right? Can you go now?"

"Like hell I'm leaving!"

I slumped down onto my bed, while she paced around my room until she quickly rushed out. She came back with rubbing alcohol, cotton balls, and bandages. I let her do her thing, since she seemed to calm down while she treated my cuts.

Jirou's POV:
I finished bandaging up her wounds and pulled her into a hug.

"Now please go," she said in a shaky voice.

Despite what she said, she was holding onto me tightly.

"Don't worry, Momo, I'm not going anywhere," I said, resting my hand on the back of her head, pushing her closer to me.

She cried into my shirt, and all I could do was give her were comforting words. After getting her to take some deep breaths, she calmed down. Her nose, eyes, and cheeks were still red. I sat beside her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I normally do it when I'm at a breaking point."

"You mean..."

"Yeah. You probably think of me differently now, don't you?"

"Of course not. I used to do it too," I rolled up my sleeves, revealing the old, faded scars on my wrist and forearms. "I had very bad anxiety and depression in junior high."

She touched my arms and started to tear up.

"Yaomomo, this is not the answer. You need to get help."

"No!" She yelled.

I winced at the level of her voice, and her face softened in regret.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want this to be brought to my parent's attention."

"And why's that?"

"Because they're the reason for this shit, Jirou!"

She broke down into more sobs as I engulfed her into my arms.

"Please don't tell anyone about this, Jirou. I'll stop. I promise. I just don't want them finding out about this. They don't even give a fuck about me."

She look like she didn't want to talk about it anymore and buried her face into my shirt.

"You said you wouldn't leave right?"

"Yes."

She pulled me down to her bed, and snuggled her face into the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around her, rubbing her back. She laid there silent in my embrace. I had so many questions, but obviously none were going to be answered right now. I didn't want to push her for information. Right now, she just needed someone to comfort her. But if she wanted to talk, I would be there to listen.

"Momo, I love you."