In Need

CHAPTER 19

NOTES:

Helloo dear readers!

Here we come with chapter 19, some action for you! Wohooo! This chapter was very long, so I have divided it and part two will come next week.

I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope you like it.

ENJOY! 

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When Severus woke up the following day, he leisurely became aware of his surroundings. He heard soft snoring behind him, a warm breath tickling him on the back of his neck. A man's body moulded into his, his back pressed against a sturdy chest. One of the man's arms was wrapped around him, his warm hand in contact with the skin over his tummy, as the hand had sneaked under his pyjamas. Severus sighed, noticing his lips twitching upwards, not needing to turn around to know who the man sleeping next to him was.

And for somebody who'd spent the vast majority of his nights alone, waking up next to a man, and that man being Harry Potter, was nothing short of a miracle. There was a point in his life he would've considered that his worst nightmare, as Harry's mere existence had been his life much more difficult. But it had been many months now that he considered Harry the man of both his night dreams and his waking moments.

He had no words to describe what the last day had been. For decades he had been fighting against his urges, never giving in to his feelings, to his body screaming for some relief. For the past months, he had understood that regressing wasn't humiliating or shameful, quite the opposite. He had learnt to use it as a tool to heal, he had learnt to recognize the signs of when it was too much for him and it was time to unwind. And he'd seen how was positive it was for his mental and emotional health.

The day before... Severus felt a rush of warmth and a fuzzy feeling settling in his stomach when he remembered how he had felt during that day that he'd been a baby. He didn't have full memories of the entire day, his childish mind remembering only bits and pieces of it. But he could remember the feeling of absolute comfort and safety in Harry's arms, the freedom he'd sensed in the simplicity of being a baby. Of being looked after and taken care of.

True, after taking that potion and being a baby for the day, he found it even harder than usual to return to his regular state and had needed some time to adjust. But he could already feel the benefits.

His mind was calmer. For the last weeks, he'd been so hyperfocused on the potion and on making progress, that he hadn't realized how tense he'd been. His mind had been in disarray, pushing all thoughts aside except for this project, and now he felt he could take a look at them and feel them again.

But there was something nagging at the back of his mind. He felt awful about how he had treated Harry. He still remembered, full of regret, how scared Harry had looked and sounded when he'd finally had enough and had confronted him.

Severus then realized that he hadn't been the only one terrified of being left behind. His own fears were a huge part of what they dealt with, and Harry put a lot of effort into making him see and believe that he wasn't going to leave.

But he hadn't been aware, until then, that their relationship had grown to such proportions, that Harry had that same fear too. Perhaps not to the same extreme as him, but he had clearly been terrified Severus had had enough and was ready to call it quits.

He turned around with slow motions so as not to wake Harry, who still slept soundly. When he was facing him, he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in. He couldn't believe he'd made Harry feel, for weeks on end, the same fear and anxiety he himself felt. It wasn't fair on him, and it had been horribly wrong. Despite his troubles and early mishaps, Harry did try to make it all better.