RANDOM THOUGHTS

8. Uncertainties

Uncertainties, a feeling of incomprehension and doubt. You crave confirmation, you want to be seen, be heard, and maybe even be understood.

There was a time when I felt insecure. The uncertainties were caused by lonely feelings,  a piece of misunderstanding. For a while I have done my best to meet other people's expectations, to get confirmation, recognition. I thought it was important how other people saw me, what they thought of me. I was your comfort, your help and your distraction. I was there for you, but where were you for me?

I wanted to help you, see you, listen to you. Was it my mistake to expect the same from you? In my uncertainties, I wondered, what can I do, to be seen, to understand for once?

And it remained silent. I felt used. I felt inferior and unimportant. My insecurities faded when I realized that I have always remained myself. I was there for you. I had respected you and understood you. I let myself used. And you showed me how I do not want to be. I found my strength where I lost it. The uncertainties are a thing of past.

I have found enough respect in myself, pride and understanding. I am here for you,always. But I no longer doubt myself, because of your shortcomings.