Alpha's Second Chance (Second Chance Book 2)

5

Dean

When I regained control of my body, I could feel my cheeks heating up. Seeing Evan so close and in my arms was a surprise. And he seemed to unconsciously agree with me, as his face also turned bright red, up to his ears. It was rather adorable.

I didn't want to let him go, but at the same time, I knew that I was the only thing keeping the floor from meeting his ass, so he needed to get back in bed. I hefted him up into my arms, eliciting a yelp from him, and carried him back to bed, bringing the pole with us.

When I had tucked him in and he looked at me with a tired smile, I gave him a gentle one in return and kissed his forehead once more. I caressed his cheek as I whispered in his ear, "Get some rest, baby. I'll be here when you wake up," and turned around again to face Angel, still curled up in the corner.

I sat down on the floor next to the bed, across the room from the deer, giving him as much space as I could. I felt terrible for scaring him so much, and in such a short period of time. I figured I owed it to him to talk about my past. They probably didn't question many of the other people here about it nor let it be a factor in whether they were allowed to stay, but my case may be different, especially with the way those wolves spoke to me a few weeks back. I'd tell Evan a more watered down version later, when he woke up.

"Angel," I started softly. I looked down into my lap, fidgeting with my fingers nervously. "I have to tell you about myself. I know it won't exonerate me for how I treated you, nor will it show me in a good light, but it's important." I glanced at him to gauge his reaction.

He looked up at me, fear still plain in his eyes. That look... Suddenly, I didn't see blue eyes full of fear right then, I saw sea foam green, terrified as he lay on my bed, screaming at me to stop... I squeezed my eyes shut tightly against the images, raking my fingers through my light brown hair.

"Dean? D-did something h-happen in your o-old pack th-that made you a-act out like th-that?" Angel asked in such a soft voice I almost didn't catch it.

"Something like that..." I answered vaguely. It was such a sensitive topic, I didn't want to talk about it, but I knew I had to, otherwise I may never be able to tell Evan, which have been fair to either of us.

"Do-do you want to t-talk about it?"

"I had a mate before..." I stated, ignoring his question and closing my eyes as I remembered everything about him. "When we were younger, he would follow me around like a lost pup, and no matter how badly I treated him, he wouldn't leave me alone. Thinking back on it, he was kinda sweet back then..." I let out a slight chuckle. "I knew he'd had a crush on me since we were teens, hell half the pack knew. I guess I took advantage of that in order to hurt him the way I did." I heaved a deep sigh as I kept going, unable to stop myself anymore. The floodgates were open and nobody would be able to shut them again.

"On his 18th birthday, he found out we were mates. His eyes lit up with this joy when he saw me and realized the truth. I...I crushed that joy in a matter of minutes.

"I led him up to my room, pissed at the Moon Goddess and wondering what I'd done to deserve a male mate as my Luna. I decided to take advantage of his trust. I can still hear him screaming in pain, begging me to stop, saying I was hurting him and asking why. I didn't answer. I just kept going, trapped in this haze of anger and resentment, taking it out on him.

"When I finally came back to myself, I had knotted him, and he had passed out at some point. I pulled out, watching in shock as my seed leaked out and mixed with a pool of blood on my sheets underneath him. I left him like that, avoided him like the plague, and slept with any female pack member that was even remotely interested for the next three months, causing him even more pain, just so I could forget what I had done to him.

"The next time I saw him, he told me he was pregnant, that I was the father. That hope shone in his eyes as he looked at me. It was as if he thought the news would bring me back to him. Sadly, it had the opposite effect. The pack member I had been talking to, she turned on him and started ranting at him, calling herself my girlfriend. If I had been in my right mind, I probably would've denied it, but I didn't. I went along with her, and said I didn't want him, or the 'abomination' he was carrying. For the second time, I had crushed him, and I wasn't even done yet. Finally, I rejected him, and said... I didn't want the kid either."

I closed my eyes as they started to sting. I hated myself for how I acted back then. I had been so unnecessarily cruel to a kid who was supposed to be my mate. What was worse was how I acted after he left.

"So you're saying you had a mate before Evan, but you raped and then rejected him? That's awful." The voice startled me, and I looked up into the shocked, blue eyes of Angel. I couldn't come up with anything better to say, so I simply nodded at him. It was awful.

"It gets worse, actually," I mumbled. I heard a sharp intake of breath. I had to push through the entire story, no matter how bad it made me look. "He left the pack that night, and after the pack members got over their shock, many of them ran after him, realizing that he was carrying the Alpha heir. They told me he had gone to a neighboring pack, so I came up with a plan.

"A few days later I convinced my father that he had rejected me, and left the rape part out entirely. He called that pack and had a conversation with the pack Alpha, who turned out to be the second chance mate, which pissed me off. He was supposed to be my mate, my Luna. So instead I took the phone and made an empty threat, knowing he could hear, saying we'd go to war if he didn't return.

"He did. And we took him away, locking him up in the basement of the pack house for safe keeping. He was there for a few days before his mate showed up, leading an army of not only his own pack members, but those from a former ally of ours as well. I-I was defeated quickly and gave my mate away. And my horrible secret was revealed to the entire pack, as was my father's.

"Over the last three years, more and more members had left the pack, because of our family, and my parents thought the best option was to banish me. That's how I ended up here. Not only that, but as I was traveling, every pack I stopped in for a night, had already known and showed me the minimum hospitality before kicking me out the next morning." I hung my head in shame as the silence lingered after I finished my tale. I knew my mate would reject me if he knew. I would in his shoes, honestly. I was a despicable person back then, and I didn't deserve kindness.

"The worst part of it all? When I found my own second chance mate, I couldn't believe my fortune, until Axle said my mate was injured. Then he told me our mate was male? My first question was whether the Moon Goddess had cursed me with having two male mates. But I still had to help him, because otherwise, it'd kill me if my mate died after I'd met him..."

I didn't know Evan was still awake and listening until I heard a sniffle behind me, followed by his voice. "So am-am I just a...a curse to you? Is that all I am? Do you... not truly care about me?"

I stiffened, my eyes widening significantly. He'd heard me... heard what my shameful inner thoughts were when I first saw him. I stood and faced his bed. "Evan, let me..." I tried to hold his hand, only to have him flinch away from me.

"D-Don't touch me!" he screamed, eyes clenched shut. He curled in on himself and moved toward the back of the bed, trembling. I slowly retracted my hand, lowering my head in shame.

"Our mate hates us," I said to Axle, who howled in agony as a response. My heart clenched painfully and I put my hand over my chest, gritting my teeth. He just indirectly rejected me. Was this how Jackson felt that night, before I had formally rejected him?

I stumbled backwards and staggered toward the doorway, not wanting to cause him any more pain than I already had. I used the frame for support as I glanced back at the bed, seeing my mate shaking there, betrayal holding him in its clutches.

"I'm glad you're my mate, Evan... I hope you feel better... Just-Just let me know if you ever want to talk to me." I turned toward the hall and whispered, "I already love you, Mate." With that I left the room, listening to my wolf's agonized howling in my head, and the image of my mate losing all faith in me burned into my retinas as I walked away, not even feeling the tears streaming down my face.