Hired By An Asexual

First Day

I wake up the next morning feeling well rested, but drained at the same time. For a human, getting enough sleep can work wonders. But I'm an incubus. Sleep helps, but the only time it makes a noticeable difference is when we've just fed and the sleep is giving our body time to turn the lust/affection of our prey into energy. Or, in human terms, when we've digested our meal. But I haven't fed in a while. So there was nothing to convert.  I sigh and get up. I take a second to consider rolling up the sleeping bag, but decide not to so I can save my energy. I open the trap door and peer down.

I take a deep breath and grip the edge of the hole, swinging down to where I'm hanging from the edge and drop down. Now all I have to do is close it back. Not too hard, since I'm taller than Alastor and even he can reach it. I reach up and close it before walking out of the bedroom.

Wait... I have no idea where anything is. Would he mind if I explore?

I wonder before remembering what he said last night. If I wake up and he's gone, the only thing he asks is that I don't mess up his house, drink all his alcohol, or smoke weed.
leave the bedroom and the smell of coffee hits me. I inhale the sweet, delicious scent and smile. I love coffee. I walk into the kitchen, using the smell as a guide. Alastor is still here, drinking coffee.

"Jesus fuck! What time is it?? I never get up early. Unless I have ta."

Al looks at the analog clock on the living room wall, which is across from the kitchen.

"10:00."

"What are ya doi-"

"It's none of your business."

"O-ok... So what are da plans for taday? Gonna announce last night's killing on da podcast? Or do dat later?"

"Later. Right now I'm going to test you. You're an incubus, so this should be easy for you. But I like to be certain. That, and I'm frustrated. I need to kill someone."

"Hold up- Listenin' to ya podcast is a guilty pleasure of mine. And one ding I learned is dat two killings back ta back ain't ya style."

"That you know of. You don't have any idea what goes on behind the scenes."

I pause for a second, mouth open and one finger in the air as I prepare to argue. Problem is, there's nothing to argue.

"Dat's true." I deflate as I say this.

Alastor smirks smugly.

"So I suggest you get ready."

I shrug my shoulders.

"It's not like I have anyding I can do ta prepare. I don't got any clothes, and breakfast don't do shit for me."

"I'll lend you an outfit. Just one. You smell like sex, stale incense, and old sweat. I don't want you walking around with those  smells on you."

"I smell like sex? But I haven't had any dis month."

"An incubus hasn't had sex in an entire month? How is that possible?"

I break out in a nervous sweat.

Fuck! If he finds out that I haven't been able to seduce anyone, he might lose interest altogether and kick me out! Then I lose a home and contact with him! But if I lie, he'll find out anyway and it'll be worse...

"Look. I can still be of use, ok? I'll earn my spot in da attic."

He arches his brow.

"Ok?"

"I ain't been able ta seduce nobody."

"And why didn't you mention this earlier?"

Alastor asks with irritation clear in his voice and even on his expression despite the perpetual smile. He crosses his arms.

"I was sleepy. Didn't come ta mind."

Which is true. On top of everything else that happened that night.

He sighs.

"Alright. I'll give you that."

"But I can still be of use!"

"Angel."

"I'll do whatever ya want me to! I've picked up several skills in my existence! I can-"

"Angel Dust!"

I blink and look at him completely.

"Huh?"

He sighs.

"How can I help you with your problem?"

"My inability to seduce?"

"Yes."

"I um... I dunno. But I need ta figure it out. Or who knows how long I have?"

"That sounds like a problem."

"It is. I dink I can go a while longer though. I hope so, anyway."

"So do I. It would be a shame if you were to keel over so soon after our arrangement."

"Yeah..."

"Anyway, you said you needed a shower, and I changed my mind on not letting you borrow my clothing. Choose what you like, but don't mess anything up."

"How the hell am I supposed ta mess up clothes just by changin in dem?"

"People find ways. Trust me. It's possible."

"Right... Hey, Al?"

"Really?"

"Sorry?"

"It's no big deal..."

He sighs. Again.

"Anyway, Alastor-"

"Go ahead and continue calling me whatever. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that being too controlling is a good way to ruin things."

I don't understand why he cares, but I don't say anything out of fear of consequences. Anyway, I'm thankful for the slack.

"Al, then."

"Yes, Angel?"

"First off, if it makes ya feel better, ya can call me Anthony."

"Noted."

"Second, what am I gonna do with my wings? I can't just retract dem like other creatures."

"That is a problem."

"So..."

"I said choose what you like at first, but now it seems you only have one set to choose from. I have an outfit that shrunk at the drycleaners. I haven't tossed it out yet, and now I'm glad I didn't. I'll get it for you and alter it so you can wear it over your wings. While I'm doing that, you can shower."

"Danks."

"You're quite welcome."

He finishes his coffee and sets the mug in the sink.

"Follow me on my way to my room. I'll point you in the direction of the bathroom."

He leaves the kitchen and I take it up on myself to wash his mug. As soon as I'm done, I follow after.

_______________________

Fuck it. I'm just going to write another fanfiction. Or a short story at least. Whichever it turns out to be. I have too many plans for this to just be a three shot.