A Dream

Chapter 1

8

  My name is Deverache. Deverache Laira Veracanza. I am russian, but my father is french. Mother is russian, and she was left by father. Soon after, she walked into the light, and left me with no family. I am 8, and ever since mother died, I am convinced that I am totally alone. But I am desperate to find my father, Adhémar Veracanza. He is still out there, and I intend to find him.

  I found out just a year ago that he was alive. Until now, the truth has been kept from me. The orphanage head mistress Miss Ballarby does not believe in my dreams of finding father. I have longed to see what he looked like. Mousy blonde hair, hazel eyes and a crooked nose, just like me. I have longed to see how he would sweep me into my arms, and welcome me home. The thought of it sparks hope in my heart. I daydream so much about him, I am slacking off chores, and I have stopped talking to Elain, my best friend. My thoughts were only of meeting my father.  Though Miss Ballarby will not tell me anything, she cannot douse my flame of hope. My hope is a strong little flame in my heart. Tiny, yes, but strong. 

   But sometimes, I have nightmares. Horrible ones. I dream that he left me and mother because he didn’t love me. It is the same every time. He stares at me, brown hair, blue eyes, and a perfectly straight nose. He is saying: “Deverache. I put you in the orphanage. I do not love you. Go home Deverache, go home.” and he walks away, but I cannot run. I am stuck, still and lifeless as a statue. Then he turns to me, but he becomes mother. The death bed scene is replayed. I stand by the bed and as I hold Mother’s hand, she screams. A shrill, cold scream full of disappointment. And I wake up, sweaty, terrified and I must bite my fist. I cry, and cry, and cry until there are no more tears left inside of me.

~

  Now Sumatra is calling me from my day dream. I give her a piece of my apple from lunch. She helps me get information about my history. She is the smallest and most nimble girl in the whole orphanage, reads quickly too, and can memorize things easily.

  Her bright brown eyes stare up at me. “Sorry Devvy, but there was nothing there about your ol’ pop. But I did see a big brown envelope with your name printed real big on it. It looked quite official-like, and important, but Miss Ballarby was coming, so I didn’t read it.” Sumatra has a strange accent and reminds me of a little monkey. She shrugs innocently. Her findings seem little, but the true meaning of her words sink in. They are gasoline to my little flame. My face feels hot, and I cannot stop smiling. “Thank you Sumatra. Next time you will get the envelope, yes?” She is nodding with enthusiasm. Now I pat the little girl’s head, and walk off to class with a skip in my step, and a brighter flame in my heart. I have a chance of finding father.

~

  I get to my dormitory and I hug Antoinette, my only doll. Her torn tissue paper dress flutters against my cheek. She comforts me as I whisper to her, we will find father. And for a second, my flame becomes a fire. I go to sleep hugging her and even though the thin sheets that do not give me any warmth are freezing, my fire makes my body feel warm and sleepy. I have a different dream this time. It makes no sense...

  It is father and mother. They are young, and mother looks healthy and pretty while father is strong and handsome. Both are standing, smiling together. They are happy, and father kisses my mother gently on her cheek. We fast forward. They are together again, but they look slightly tired and sad and older. Instead of a kiss, father looks away and lets go of mother’s hand. We fast forward again. They are shouting. Mother is pale, she is crying. Father is red and angry. They are shouting angry words that I hate. I scream, but my lips are not moving. I look away, but my eyes do not close. I want to run away and close my eyes, but I am so cold. Finally, mother is holding me. Me in a bundle of patched cloth, and rain over our heads. Mother is crying. Father does nothing to help. He is cold. I cannot touch him, but I know that he is cold. He looks away, and shakes his head. Suddenly, I am cold too.