A Dream

Chapter 2

10

  Elain, my old best friend, is spreading rumors about me. It has been going on for a while now, and I don’t know why. I think she is angry that I abandoned her for the thought of my father when I was 8. Now she is telling everyone that I don’t shower, or comb my hair. Why would she do this to me? I have done nothing to offend her, have I? I can see her now. She is whispering in Valerie’s ear. They cast me dirty looks, and now Elain flicks her brown hair and drags Valerie along. I feel red hot. That horrible vermin of a girl. I want to slap her, but I restrain, and follow the trail of obnoxiousness into class.

~

  Miss Lumely claps her hands and we greet her. I put away my books and get my pens and paper out from my bag. No one comes to sit with me, but I do not mind the loneliness. I have been alone all my life. I am too concerned with finding father to be busy with friends anyways. But Elain has plenty. She prides herself on her social skills, and often tries to show her friends off to me. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see Elain giggling with Natalia and Trina. Like always. I roll my eyes. But they are pointing at my back. Something strange is going on. Then, I immediately feel for a note. They must have pinned it there. I read it with horror. It says “Daddy’s little girl”. 

  This crosses the line. Blood rushes to my head, and I stand up. I am trembling. I slowly walk over to Elain. I do not know what I am doing, but I raise my hand. Elain stops laughing to turn and look at me. Her rosebud mouth says, “What do you want, Daddy’s little girl?” An uproar of laughter. Of mockery. A slap is not good enough. My hand is balled into a fist. This needs to stop. I stick my chin out, and whisper to her snooty, pale face, “I want revenge.”

  I thrust my arm forward onto that despicable face with as much power I can muster. It feels exhilarating. I punch her once more. And again. And again. Her freckled nose is bloody. I let a smile creep into my lips, and I stare at Elain, now wailing and holding her face in her hands. The blood thundering in my ears slowly drains. It leaves me to hear- hear silence. Dead silence. I look around, and everyone is staring at me and Elain.

~

  The severity of my actions sink in. I rush off, appalled at how out of control I got. I know it will result in a month’s bearings of whipping and chores. I want to cry and run away. I am so embarrassed, I whimper, “Father, please take me away.” But he cannot hear me. No one hears me. Now Miss Lumely is calling Miss ballarby. I rush to my dormitory. I can feel father’s cold eyes on my back. He is disappointed. Now he is walking away from me. My doubts and fears rush to mind. They are circling in my head, driving me insane, biting down on the happiness I have left and dousing my flame.

  Deverache, I do not love you... You are so stupid... What do you want, daddy’s little girl?... I hate you... Why are you here?... Get up you filthy girl... You don’t have half the guts as her... Your family is retarded... Go home, Deverache... Go away... Your mind is not--- the same... Stop being so stubborn... You are the worst friend... You are so ugly... No one wants to adopt you... Father will never come for you... 

  I give up. I crumple, and I let the words douse my flame. Miss Ballarby’s pale face looks at me with cold, hard disapproving shame. The thoughts in my head take me over, and I start to cry endless tears.