𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚 || hogwarts various x reader

8

"CEDRIC!"

I sit upwards in my bed, beads of cold sweat gathering on my face and my body.

I breathe heavily, clutching my sides as I try to make out any positive thoughts.

The sun hasn't even risen, but I do know what today is. A week before the ball.

And guess what? Still no date. I've fabricated at least three couples, and yet I still have no date.

Fern and Neville, Pansy and Draco, Kathy and Blaise, all of them I have set up because one of both of them have come to me in need of a partner.

Maybe it just never occurred to me that maybe one of them wanted to be my partner. But, oh well, because now it's a week prior and I still have no date.

Which means.. I'll have to take Cormac up on his offer. If he doesn't already have a date.

I mean, it wouldn't be so bad, right? So, I get up and shower, trying to rid my mind of my most recent nightmare.

Cedric is too attractive to die.

I chuckle at the thought, glad my thoughts can steer away and recognize that none of it is real.

None.. none of it is real. I'm safe, Harry's safe, Cedric's safe.

I pull my outfit on, an oversized sweater and a tennis skirt with black tights underneath.

I walk down front the Gryffindor Tower, making my way to the Great Hall.

After a few minutes, I reach the Great Hall, where Breakfast is now in full swing. I catch sight of Cormac, who is sitting and eating.

I gulp back my embarrassment, moving toward him.

"Hey, Cormac, can we-" Cormac looks at me, but quickly his attention is taken away by another female.

"Cormac!" Another voice overrides mine, and Astoria Greengrass slides into a seat next to Cormac.

"Hey, honey." Astoria says as she burrows herself into Cormac's side.

"Oh, um, hey [Name]. Sorry, I didn't see you there." Astoria says awkwardly.

"Oh, um- no, it's fine, really. I'm all.. good." I say, giving a thumbs up to prove my point.

"Okay." Cormac was so consumed in his new girlfriend that he doesn't see me leave, clutching my head and being devastated.

So.. no date. Okay, okay.. we can work with this. But I cant't ignore the way my chest is moving up and down uncontrollably and I can't tell which direction I'm going in.

This is a very small thing to have a panic attack about, but I guess it's all just added up. I wanted a date.

I wanted a nice life. I wanted to sleep. I stop in a random abandoned hallway, sinking into and down the wall while clutching my head in my hands.

I want answers. Why is my life so screwed up?

A sob escapes me, and I hug my knees in a effort to contain the shards of me that are destined to fall all round me. On the floor. If I don't physically hold myself together, there is no way that I won't end up in several pieces.

At least that's how it feels.

And today, there is no one to interrupt me. Not Cedric, or Fern, or Fred and George or Draco.

None of them are here to put this off. No one is here to prevent this.

I sob and clutch my sides until my throat is scratched and dry and until my eyes hurt from shutting them so hard. Until my sides hurt from clutching them so hard. Until everything inside of me hurts so much that it just can't hurt anymore.

Breakfast will be over in probably a few minutes, so I should try to recover from this before I make my way to DADA.

And so that is what I do, trek to DADA and try to calm myself down enough to pass for not-having-a-crisis.

I walk into the small room, taking my seat next to empty space as I always do. But today, another boy sits beside me. I look to him, thinking there must be some mistake, but a young boy looks back at me and waves.

"Gio!" I exclaim, glad to get my mind off of this whole getting rejected thing.

"Oh my god, it's so good to see you!" I say, laughing slightly.

"Yeah, yeah, you too! This was the only open seat, so I figured I'd take it."

"Yeah! Yeah, I mean no one ever sits by me so." I shrug, but to be honest it takes everything in me not to burst out crying again.

"You're going to the Ball with my roommate, Lavander." I inform him.

"Oh, yes. She is.. chatty."

I shrug. "Only sometimes."

And then the class starts.

"So, class, we've actually burned through all of our material from here until we get back from Winter Break." I feel my shoulders relax. No work for today.

"..So I figured we would revisit some third year material. Specifically, this cupboard right here." Professor Lupin gestures to a giant cupboard. I know that.

"Would anyone like to go first?" Some boy in my year raises his hand. His fear is something tiny like a dozen birds or something. Lucky boy.

Eventually, Lupin of course calls me up. I don't want to, but I have to anyway. When I walk up to it, my nerves are awake and on edge. I don't feel like having a second crying fit today.

He opens the cupboard carefully, and still I am terrified as the creature takes many shapes, before finally deciding on one.

It is never a clear image, just as my mind words. Blurred faces, unintelligible words, all of them fill my head and consume me. I find myself getting dizzy, confused, before a voice cuts throughout it all.

"Riddikulus!" Professor Lupin is in front of me now, his want pointed at the image in front of me. The people become finger puppets behind a stage, communicating through grunts. A chill runs up my spine.

What just happened?

"Class dismissed." Lupin says. The class filters out, and I try to move as well, but Lupin catches my arm.

"You don't know what or who to fear, [Name]. You're afraid of your own mind." He pauses, his grip tightening on my arm.

"I will tell you what to fear. Do not fear him himself, for you should not fear your enemy, but I will tell you to fear his ability and that only."

I shake my head lightly. "Who?"

"Dumbeldore." And with that, his grip on my is gone. And I am left only to discover what that must mean. Dumbeldore.