Dolonia

Daniella Benton 12: Doctor's Orders (pt.1)

He lightly rubs my shin above the blanket. "It's Sebastian."

My heart drops at his words.

Sebastian.

"He's... he's here, in the parking garage, and he's waiting to come and see you. I told him that he could come up once you had woken up." James says with a bit of guilt laced in his words. "But if you don't want him to, I can tell him that you aren't feeling up to seeing anyone."

I want to say that he can't see me like this. I want to say I can't face him after what I said to him. Oh my gosh, what I've said to him. I'm reminded of every bit of the regret, and I can't stand the thought of looking at him. I'm not ready to unload all of my regret and guilt.

At the same time, the thought of seeing Sebastian warms my heart. My heart that has been aching ever since I went on my rampage yesterday. I've missed seeing him how I used to; being able to relax and joke, and have playful banter with him was, and still is, my main source of happiness. I don't like being at odds with him. He's my closest friend, and I need him.

I don't know what I would do without him, and I never want to find out what that would be like. I suppose I need to see him if I want us to have a shot at our friendship at all. I need to apologize, and tell him how truly sorry I feel.

I want to mend my mistakes, but I'm afraid it's past that point when I remember how shattered he looked at my venomous words. If anything, it would be nice to just see him. Our friendship was so wholesome and delightful. It'll be worth looking pathetic and weak in front of him if it means that I can mend things, and we can go back to how things used to be.

I make up my mind that I want to see him. I don't really want him to see me like this, but he's already here, and I need to apologize.

"Ella?" James asks lightly.

I realize I've been silent for a long time, lost in thought. "Yeah, okay," I whisper.

He nods lightly with a small smile. "Okay," he whispers back, "I'll tell him to come up." He gently gets up, leaving me to my thoughts.

I lay back slightly, and pain shoots through my abdomen. My mind reminds me of the baseball bat hitting me repeatedly through images in flashes, and I wince. I lightly lift up my shirt and see the large bruises that are just starting to pop up. I put my shirt back down and sigh lightly. Hopefully, it's just the bruises, and there's nothing seriously wrong.

I place the ice pack back on my left eye, and try to rest. I don't know what I'll say to Sebastian. I guess it's better to not have a plan and to speak from the heart.

It's not long before a soft knock comes from the door, and I watch as James opens it to reveal Sebastian. I seen him earlier today, and yet he looks so different.

He's wearing the same shirt he put on after freshening up this morning tucked into the same plain black slacks he was wearing with his combat boots. He's put on some of his usual jewelry. Some silvery metallic rings, each with a different design, and two necklaces. One is a plain silver chain, and the other is the one with the small lock.

Although his clothes are the same, he looks different. His face is ashen, and dark marks reside under his eyes. It must be the painful ache in my heart that makes me feel like I haven't seen him in days.

His hair is disheveled, and he looks calm, but I can feel his nervous energy from where I'm laying. He says something to James that's too low for me to hear before glancing my way, and stopping in his tracks. His lips are parted slightly, and he looks as if he's had the breath knocked out of him.