Band- It College Years

Shattered

** trigger warnings: rape, child abuse**

Levi POV
Eren sat across from me. I watched as he picked at his food. He had been oddly quiet ever since this morning. Ever since I heard how he felt hanging on that cross. I had taken us out to a late lunch after he had bandaged my hands. We had cleaned the already clean shop. Eren had a client the next day. We worked on their design together. When Hange was done, she came down. I gave her a key to the shop and her new office.
"Is it ok?" I asked pointing to the food. Eren gave me a half hearted smile. He nodded forcing a bite of the steak into his mouth. He looked like he wanted to throw up just having food in his mouth. I handed him a napkin and he spit it out. I got our food boxed up. Once I paid we left the restaurant.
"Let's go for a walk." I offered. We made our way along this walking and biking path. Eren kept his hands in his pockets. I sighed.
"How much did you hear?" he asked. I frowned.
"Just that you thought I could possibly leave you to die." I growled he flinched away. "I was planning, with Erwin and Armin. We were coming for you. I'm sorry it took so long."
"Did you know he was dying?" Eren asked. I looked over to him. His head was tilted back as he looked up at the white wispy clouds floating by. A soft breeze blew the brown strands of hair over his forehead. He looked like an angel.
"What makes you think that?" I asked.
"He told me. Said the cigarettes were killing him and it was too late for him to quit." I kicked the garbage can we were walking past. I wanted to punch it but my hands already hurt.
"That fucking bastard!" I hissed. "Fucking KENNY!" I screamed. His name tore from my throat making it hurt.
"What?" Eren asked.
"He took you to make me kill him. He didn't want to waste away from cancer. The mother fucker planned it all!" I growled.
"If I..." Eren paused. I waited this was what was really bothering him. "Levi, if I told you I lied, what would you do?" he asked. I snorted.
"Did you lie to me or Hange?" I asked as gently as I could, which wasn't much to be truthful.
"You." He whispered. I drew in the crisp soon to be fall air. Letting it hurt my lungs until I blew it out again.
"I would think you had a good reason for it." I told him. "And that someday, when you're ready, you will tell me." I added hoping he would just freaking tell me! I saw some people moving toward the path from their car. By their happy faces it looked like they wanted to talk. I glared at them. We were near one of the parking lots that dotted the side of the path.
I had a knife in my pocket. I always had a knife, ever since Kenny showed me how to handle one. I flipped it out. Eren wouldn't see it, but those two did. They changed directions quickly.
"I, I lied be, because..." Eren shivered. It wasn't cold out here. I waited. "Because I couldn't even think about it." He added lamely.
"OK. Do you ..." I began.
"He rapped me." Eren cried.
"I know, with the knife, you told me..." Eren was shaking his head. He dropped to the ground hugging himself. He made his body as small as possible.
"With his dick. He fucked me. Came inside me." I don't know what happened then. I saw him like that huddled on the ground, crying, shaking, begging for acceptance. His words hit me. My brain shut down. I saw red.
It was always red. That room, the torture room. It was the room Kenny took me to punish me. I had only been with him a few months the first time. He had tied my hands to a golden loop on the wall. He had taken my clothes. He had put his mouth on my cock and sucked me. I was only six maybe seven. Then he had kissed my butt, licking it with his tongue. He would do this for a few weeks, whenever I was bad.
Then one day he made me kiss his cock. He shoved it into my mouth. Forcing it passed my tight lips. He choked me with it. Fucking my face until he came down my throat. This was a new torture. I hated it, but Kenny loved this more than the other one.
He did this for months. When he increased the torture it was to shove his fingers inside my butt. This hurt and he would make me scream. He would shove his cock in my mouth while he forced his fingers in and out of me. I could not scream with his dick in my mouth. If I bit him, he would punch me.
The time came when even this wasn't enough for him. The day came when Kenny forced his cock deep inside me. He rapped me when I was eight. It didn't stop until the day he left. He vanished right after New Years day, just after my sixteenth birthday. For eight years I endured his assaults. I never fought Kenny, not once.
Hearing Eren utter those words drove home a spike Kenny had started. It dug into my heart, my soul. It shattered the box I hid all my misery in. The one I had thought I had sealed shut long ago. Furlan had been my only friend back then. When Kenny saw us kissing, he had come up behind the too thin, too tall teen. It was my first kiss. It ended with Kenny slitting the boys throat. His blood poured over me. We were only thirteen. I was drowning in red. I recalled screaming and screaming. Kenny had to hit me to shut me up.
That night was the worst. He left me in the torture room for days. Fucking me, hitting me, breaking my ribs, arm and dislocating my hips with his angered abuse. He yelled all the while about me fucking Furlan. We hadn't. It had only been a kiss. My best friend lost his life over a fucking kiss.
"Levi, Levi!" Eren was screaming my name. Sound was coming back to me, but the red wasn't going away.
"Please you need to hurry. He's going to hurt someone!" Eren sounded so afraid. No one would hurt him, not now that I was back. I tried to find him in the haze of red. I heard a siren. I yelled. It wasn't words, just the torture of my own fractured soul screaming to be released.
Something was in my hands. I threw it away. "LEVI!" Eren screamed again. A shot rang out. I cried throwing myself at the boy, I spun facing the danger with Eren at my back. I blinked. The world came back into focus. The red creeped away to the edges of my sight.
Erwin was stalking towards me. He held the gun pointed at me. I could see his cold blue eyes over it. But, they weren't cold. They were wet. Was he...? I blinked. Erwin was pointing his service pistol at my head.
"Levi, don't you dare make me hurt him." His voice didn't waiver. It didn't matter that he was crying. He ignored the tears flowing down his cheeks. Those eyes stayed on mine.
"Kenny..." I hissed out. "Kenny fucking rapped him" I ground out through clenched teeth.
"Oh for the love of all that's holy." Erwin hissed. The gun vanished. The huge blond man knelt before me. He pulled me into his arms. Erwin, my savior. The only person in this world I had told everything to. Maybe not all the details, but he knew just how hard it was for me to utter that sentence.
I beat at his back, crying into his shoulder, just as I had that day. The day he found me with the gun in my mouth. He had made that one vanish too. What was it with him, guns and me?
Today, though Erwin wasn't my only angel any more. I felt the pressure against my back. The teen pressed into me he buried his face between my shoulder blades as his arms hugged my waist. I could hear him repeating he was sorry, over and over again. What the hell did he have to be sorry for? I wondered. I managed to twist in Erwin's arms.
Getting one arm around Eren I pulled him more to my side. I slapped his face. I didn't mean to hit him hard. I guess my emotions were still out of whack. I saw the red hand print appear on his face as he looked at me shocked.
"You!" I yelled pressing my forehead to his. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Not one fucking thing, brat!" I yelled at him.
"I lie..." I cut him off forcing my lips against his. I heard him whimper but I held on. I didn't try anything else. I just wanted his lips on mine. His arms wrapped awkwardly around me as I was still practically sitting in Erwin's lap.
"He rapped me too, for years." I told him when I could talk. "I love you, Eren. I won't let him destroy that!" I vowed. Eren buried his head into my neck. His arms crushed me against him.
"I love you." He whispered. "I love you more than anything." He added rocking slightly.
"Let's get you two home before this ends up on YouTube or some shit." Erwin hissed. As we stood, as I clutched Eren to me, only then did I see the crowd of people. Only then did I see the destruction of the area we were in. It looked like a tornado had come through. Trees were uprooted. Boulders had been launched away from their moorings. The foot bridge over the small creek was demolished.
I knew I had done all of it. Although I don't remember any of it. "I'll fix it later." I told Erwin.
"Damn right you will." He told me. He put us both in the back of his car. He drove us home ordering us to stay there.
"No, actually.." He unhooked his holster and sat at the table. "I'm staying this time. Someone needs to keep you two out of trouble." We laughed. Eren and I cuddled on the couch as we found brainless entertainment to watch. I only cared that I was in this brats arms. I fell asleep there. Waking to hear Erwin telling Eren just how we met.