Surviving the truth

"Chaper 21- Epilogue "

Life with Derek hadn't been the greatest like we all hoped. Two years ago we got in a huge fight where I ended our engagement. I told Derek I didn't want to be with him anymore living in the stupid house he built. The result of this fight ended with me throwing my engagement ring at him, packing some clothes for both me and Emma, and leaving. Derek asked me where I was going. I laughed at that question because it didn't concern him. But it was obvious I was going back to my mother's old Seattle home she still owned.

I avoided working with him at the hospital as best as possible. I was back being in the I hate Derek Shepherd mood, wanting nothing to do with him anymore.

I was done.

At least that's what I hoped. He still demanded to see Emma, and obviously I can't kick him out of my daughter's life when she knows who he is now. That would have only worked when she was one and can't remember anything. At two years old, you start to remember certain events, mainly major ones, and I would consider having your dad kicked out of your life as a huge one; you can take me for example and how I turned out.

I began to get jealous when I saw Derek going out on dates. I knew he didn't like the women he was out with; Derek was just taunting me, and unfortunately for me, it was working. I decided two can play at this game. I started going out on dates and meeting people at Joe's bar where I first met Derek at. I would pretend I was going back to the guy's place by walking out of Joe's with the man making sure Derek was watching. What Derek didn't know though was that I would say goodnight to the guy or use the I have a kid bombshell to get rid of him. I was sure Derek Shepherd was jealous and getting pissed off after that because soon I stopped seeing him going out with endless of women.

I won at his own game, and I couldn't have been more prouder.

We were broken up for about two months when he came up to me in the hospital and apologized for everything. He told me he was being stupid again. I agreed he was being stupid again. Derek told me he loves me, loves our family, and still wants to marry me. This reminded me back when I was pregnant with Emma and he continued to apologize for being stupid.

I told Derek I still loved him too and apologized for leaving. I told him I shouldn't had left, but he made me so mad I didn't want to look at him, nonetheless even sleep in the same bed as him. I told him I overreacted, but Derek told me I didn't. Basically this conversation was long, but it ended with us kissing and making up; plus makeup sex in a supply closet, but I'm not going to get into that.

I moved back in with Derek that night. I never fully moved out because I figured he'd apologize, I'd forgive him, and we'll get back together and have hot makeup sex. I was just waiting on him to finally realize what the he did and realize he fucked up again. I just wasn't expecting him to take so long to do this. I'm happy he finally did because who knows if he ever would had ever come to that realization.

That night as I was laying in bed, Derek came to me with a crazy idea.

"Let's go to the Bahamas to get married."

Derek was telling me about this beach club in the Bahamas where we could get married at that actually allows us to have drinks during the ceremony. Now if you know me, that sounds like my type of wedding, so obviously I was like, hell yeah, let's get married in the Bahamas.

When Derek told his family about us getting married at a beach club in the Bahamas, his mother almost had a heart attack. His family are traditional people; getting married in a grand church, wearing a big white wedding dress people. Derek told his family I'm not that type of person, and they were obviously thrilled to know that.

Did I mention Derek's family still hates me?

Because they do.

I'm sure they went from being very ecstatic people when they heard I ended our engagement, to very disappointed people when they heard we got back together.