There Is Enough To Go Around

Chapter 17

WARNING: This chapter is intense and gets a little gory near the end. Viewer discretion is advised.

Mila woke up in her father's bed; empty as usual. The window in the small room showed that it was morning, so the little girl gave herself time to stretch before wandering through the hallway to find her daddy. She peaked her head around the wall that looked into the living room to find her daddy leaned up against the couch, as he stared off into space, and that brown bottle still sprawled out on the floor from the night before. It was a scary thing for the little girl to witness her father drinking from it, crying and screaming absurdities in the night when he thought she was asleep. It had become a regular occurrence in the O'Malley house.

Mila couldn't understand it, however. During the day, he was her daddy. They went to the beach or the park. They went to go get ice cream and sometimes went out to dinner. The pair came and watched movies in his room until they both were asleep. But at night, he was different. He threw things and was loud, and his breath smelled of something terrible. She dared not approach him when he was in this state. But in the morning he was tired and all he wanted to do was hold her, repeating to her he was sorry; that it was all his fault. The little one just latched on eagerly, as she tried to soothe her father like Stef and Lena had done for her.

But there really wasn't much she could do to help her father in reality. The PTSD was overwhelming the man, and when the only reason he remained sober during the day was asleep, alcohol became his escape from the war. He refused to get help, though nobody caught onto his behavior lately. He was a soldier. He was supposed to be strong, tough. He was supposed to be hard as a rock in battle, and face what the world had to throw at him. And yet, back into the average reality, he was feeling as if he was failing. The memories of war were so strong now that he didn't have to face it anymore. Maybe going back would help. Though he had to live it there, the anxiety he felt would benefit him. He just had to find a way to cope until then. The weekends with Mila helped during the day. But he just had to find something when he was alone. Something to help him forget, even just for a while.

Mila finally approached him, his eyes fell on her and he gave her a little smile.

"Morin' Kitten."

"Hi Daddy," she replied meekly.

He was silent, and Mila crawled into his lap, though he reeked of alcohol. He stroked her hair while, before he focused enough to look at the clock. Once he comprehended what it said, he stood up fast, feeling the dizziness of the drink hit him.

"Your mommies will be here soon. Go get dressed baby, while I clean up." He set her down, careful not to kiss her so he wouldn't pass his alcohol smell to her. He really had to clean up, already knowing Stef was a cop.

She obeyed and went to her designated room, while Buddy quickly (or as quick as his headache would let him) changed his clothes and brushed his teeth, before cleaning up and spraying the apartment with a vast amount of Febreeze. By the time he was done, Mila was already dressed and sitting on the couch. He sat next to her, and she immediately laid her head in his lap.

"Remember honey...it's our little secret. Just between me and you." Mila nodded, having heard this speech before by her father. She, amazingly enough, had been able to keep the "hush-hush" and about it at her age, even from her therapist. But the pressure and lack of sleep was making her crack. She didn't want to sleep anymore. She didn't want to close her eyes and be alone, since this happened at her dad's every time. Her daddy felt like he was slipping away from her, and her mommies always seemed to be scolding her for something. All these adults were mad at her, or she wasn't enough for them to be happy. Buddy was catching on to her behavior, and Lena and Stef had had been nagging on him for any changes in Mila's behavior.