isabella [h.s.]

forty four

ISABELLA

The four of us duck out of the taxi once it pulls up outside the pub, which is surprisingly bigger than I expected considering the rest of the town's overall quaintness. A vast array of mis-matched Christmas lights are strung across the building's exterior, practically providing the only light source for the rest of the dark street. Just from peering into the fogged up windows as we approach, you can already see that the pub is packed with what I assume is most of the town's residents, the sounds of jolly Christmas music, laughter, and conversation so loud that the buzz of it can be heard from outside. Ahead of us, Anne and Gemma wave to people they recognise from inside, quickening their pace as they hurry in to join the festivities.

My chest clenches at the sight of all those people, all of Harry's family friends and town acquaintances, all in one place. Just before we cross the threshold of the entrance, I suddenly grab Harry's arm, pulling him back while he shoots me a quizzical look. "Are you related to the whole village or something? I thought this was a family thing?"

Harry laughs. "It was, but this is what happens here. Word gets around and then everyone shows up." He reaches down for my hand, tangling our fingers together and squeezing once before nodding his head towards the pub. "Come on, everyone will love you."

With a relenting smile on my lips, I let Harry pull me out of the crisp winter night and into the warmth of the pub, the classic smell of musk, cigarettes, and beer-soaked carpet immediately washing over us. Due to the amount of people already stuffed inside the fairly small space, it doesn't take long to warm up, the heat quickly rising in my cheeks. I shrug myself out of my coat and unwind the scarf from around my neck, which Harry takes from me wordlessly, heading off to stow away somewhere while I wait for our drinks at the bar. He returns sans his own coat, accepting the pint I slide to him and taking a sip before his hand finds my waist, guiding me back out into the fray with the clear intent of making some introductions.

I feel uncharacteristically nervous as we move around the room, glad I now have a double vodka in my hands to serve as some liquid courage. My mind flashes back to one of Harry's work functions which I breezed through with no problem, but then I remind myself that this is Harry's family and hometown friends, not a collection of work colleagues that he probably never sees outside the walls of the precinct. I care about him, more than I'd probably admit at this stage, so it's pretty obvious that I'd care about this. Not to mention, Harry and I are now, officially if our moment in the wine shop cemented it, boyfriend and girlfriend, a title which hasn't been attached to me in a long time. Not since the last time I was left heartbroken by yet another man who I thought was it for me, only to just be another disappointment. I think that's the main reason why I haven't let myself get into a relationship in so long, because the older I get, the more I understand that the person I'm with can only be one of two things: the one, or just another heartbreak. And that's a terrifying prospect.

However, as the night progresses, I realise that with Harry, that fear isn't as strong. Maybe it's due to how attentive he's is being with me, even as we engage with different people and hardly interact ourselves. As we circle the room, Harry never really takes his hands off me; his arm wrapped around my waist, his hand placed on the small of my back, our fingers intertwined. Even though I was nervous coming in here, I seem to glow under his reassurance and feel more comfortable, finding myself seamlessly fitting into the environment as if I grew up here too. When I finally feel like my usual self, I let Gemma pull me up to dance when a particularly popular Christmas song comes on, belting out the words and letting people I only met an hour ago twirl me around. When, after some clear encouragement from his friends, Harry eventually sweeps in to dance with me, looping an arm around my waist and pulling me close, I'm breathless and smiling so hard my cheeks ache.