Human again

Chapter 3

Before my mom passed I was different. I was fearless, now I'm just careless. I wasn't an angel child but I was popular. I was social. I was like any other regular teen. I had friends, I would go to a party every now and then, my grades were good, I only did drugs like 3 times and it was all pot nothing hard. Drinking was rare for me. I never snuck out, me and my dad got along. He didn't drink. Life was okay. A month or so before she passed I started getting angry, my grades were slipping, I was losing everything, I became depressed. Then when she passed I went off the rails. Drugs, booze, parties, my grades became all failing and I dropped everyone, my wrist was always slit, I developed an eating disorder, got diagnosed and sent to a mental hospital at 13 for trying to off myself. It became a regular thing.

One day she was there, then the next she wasn't.

One day my dad wasn't a drunk, the next he passed out at 12 pm.

One day I was okay, the next I wanted nothing more than to die.

Things can change so fast. In the blink of an eye, your whole life could change. All it took for me was a phone call.

I met Amara in the mental hospital the first time I went, she has a fucked up life, she was in there longer than me, I always saw her when I went back in, one day in the day room I slipped her my number, when we finally got out we stayed in touch, ended up going to the same high school. We have always been there for each other ever since.

Mattia on the other hand I knew almost my whole life. He watched me change. I stayed away from him. He was a "bad boy", he would have tainted my image, I was way too good for him. But then I became the "bad girl". The depressed loner and everyone didn't like the new me, but he accepted it and he liked me better this way. I wasn't so uptight and annoying, I let loose and it became fun, it became addicting. So everything about me changed. Even my style.

My brother changed too. Vito was also a good kid. Then he became like me, more of a stoner than a druggie though. He got diagnosed as being bipolar about a year ago. He's on meds and I think they're working out pretty okay. He still has his drastic ups and downs but they're not as bad as they used to be.

I'm on pills too, or I'm supposed to be. I don't really take them.

I guess a lot changed.

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I wake up with a slight breeze in my face. I sit up and look at my window, I don't remember opening it. Shit where did I put my phone? I get up scattering my bed until I find it underneath my pillows and blankets. The time reads ; 5:26pm. Fuck ive been sleeping for almost 3 hours. My stomach rumbles , I need to eat something small. I take a minute to gather myself and then head downstairs , it's quiet. Usually by this time my dads passed out somewhere and vitos doing god knows what in his room. But I don't see my dad anywhere down-stairs.

"Vito! Are you here?!!" i call out , it takes a minute but eventually i get a response

"Yea!"' i hear him yell out while coming down the stairs

"When did you get home?" i ask

"Um about an hour ago" Vito responses while making his way to the fridge , he opens the bottom draw and pulls out an apple.

" Toss me one" i say

"Red or green?"

"Ummm red"

He tosses me the red apple and I catch it, immediately taking a bite trying to sooth my growling stomach.

"So how was your day?" vito asks me

I shrug while swallowing a bite of the apple "fine." , "How are you feeling?" I know he's referring to my hangover, which thankfully died down hours ago thanks to Mattia. "Okay ig"

"Did the Advil Help at all?"

I nodded slightly, my mouth full with a sweet bite into the apple. To be honest the advil's barely did shit , I mean it helped my headache die down a little but not that much.

"You know dads gonna kill you right? After I carried you to bed I had to get one of my friends to pick me up so I could go get dad's truck, when I came home dad was awake."

My eyes widened slightly at 'when i came home dad was awake' , my dads not a very forgiving person , especially when it comes to me and vito. We share a close resemblance to our mother , after she passed he could hardly look at us , from then on we pretty much helped raise each other. At some point My dad stopped showing up for work , so vito got 3 jobs just so i didn't have to, i appreciate him a lot more than he knows , without him i'd probably be living on the streets , or dead.

"What happened?" i asked with a hint of curiosity in my voice , "i told him some bullshit i made up in the moment but he knows it was you, the car smelled like you , there was alcohol all over and cigarettes , and you left your jacket in there"

I mentally face plam, "fuck vito, hes gonna kill me"

He put a warm hand on my shoulder and gave me a soft smile ."You'll be fine, lu i promise."

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But it wasn't fine. It is 2:00am ,and I'm sitting on my roof gazing at the city. A cig in my hand and my body painted in swarms of black and blue.

This wasn't the first time. I mean this is what I get for being a shit daughter. You fuck up you get concequces , these are just the ones i have to live with.

I move my hand slightly to my face brushing away a single tear, slightly wincing at the contact with the new forming bruise on my cheek. Vito tried to protect me. He always does. But it always ends up the same , we both get hurt. And he gets angrier. I move slightly bringing the cig to my lips, grabbing my newly bruised ribs at the movement . Funny, I never was a daddy's girl.

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