Blaze (boyxboy)

Chapter 30

☆Blaze☽

Chapter 30:

I was sitting at my desk with my face nearly buried into my notebook when my roommate walked in.

"Hey, dude," Austin said. He slammed the door to our dorm room as he dropped his messenger bag onto the floor. I looked up and turned my head towards him, propping my face up with my fist.

"Hey."

"Y'all right, man?" Austin furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled on the sleeves of his black jacket, tugging until it fell to the ground next to his bag.

"Fine, just writing." My eyes were heavy from lack of sleep; I hadn't realized how much I had lost track of time. I got sucked into this stupid story I was writing and I couldn't stop. It was compulsive. I didn't need to eat or sleep, just write. At least I remembered to breathe.

"How long have you been up?" I looked over to the clock on the desk, having to squint to read the time properly. I needed new glasses but I didn't want to find a new optometrist, I figured I would just wait until Christmas when I went back home. Or maybe reading week, I hadn't decided yet.

It was about eleven in the morning, meaning that Austin had come back from his first class. He spent the nights at his girlfriend's usually, but eventually they would fight and he would be forced back into the dorm room we shared. "All night."

Austin rolled his eyes as he made his way across the room, looming over my shoulder. "You should get some sleep."

"Where were you?"

"I was out with Kenzie. Her friend was asking about you again; I can't remember her name." I sighed, remembering the night I met Kenzie's friends. Austin had promised to set me up with someone, but no matter how much I told him I didn't want to it hadn't mattered. I even tried telling him I had a girlfriend back home, going as far as to call Whiskey and pretend I was talking to my 'girlfriend'- he had forgiven me for the shit I did before summer after he called me because he had boy troubles- but I should have known that wouldn't have worked because being exclusive did not exist in Austin's sex life.

If I had told Austin I was gay, this never would have happened. But I wasn't sure how he would react. Now that I knew him better, it was obvious he wasn't homophobic, but not being homophobic and being comfortable sharing a room with a gay guy are two completely different things, and I really didn't want to have to move rooms mid-way through the semester, especially because we were lucky enough to get a dorm in one of the new buildings- the ones where every room had it's own bathroom instead of a communal one.

"Phoebe?"

"Yeah, her. You should hook up with her, man. She's like, an eight- nine on a good day. I heard she's pretty talented too." Austin was always crude when it came to girls, though he did value them as more than just for sex. When he actually liked someone, and I mean actually, I would listen to him go on about her for days. Eventually I would get so sick of it that I would just put in an ear bud and make some sort of noise whenever I sensed that he had finished a sentence. It was cute in a way, but obsessively annoying in another.

"I think I'm good," I replied, tapping my pen against my notebook.

"Suit yourself, but don't come whining to me when you're lonely, because there's a busty blonde ready and willing but you're too busy writing."

"I have to finish this today." I always acted like this one some sort of assignment I had to do for my Creative Writing class, because I knew Austin would think I was strange if I was sacrificing sleep, food, and most importantly girls, to write in my spare time. But writing was helping me cope, with everything. It made me feel like I was actually moving on in life instead of remaining stuck in the past of what if? and criticizing every stupid decision I made. It was my fantasy, and I could do whatever I wanted to in it.