Benevolence [H.S.]

Chapter Twelve

"Some folks think you're happy, when you wear your smile
What about your tribulations, and all, all of your trials
Smiles, smiles hide a lots a things
The good, the bad, the hurt, all of this goes too"
-Irma Thomas, Wish Someone Would Care (1964)

** Quick recap**

Benevolence Williams (Benny) left school as a journalism major (in 1963) to help her disabled mother and little brother after her other brother signs up to fight in Vietnam.

She finds out her brothers old boss, Harry, is paying her families bills.

She's not OK with that for reasons that are yet to be disclosed.

Bennys childhood friend shows up to celebrate her return, takes her to a bar and some guy throws his leather jacket on their table before beating the shit out of someone outside.

Benny goes to her brother, Duncan's place of employment to pay his boss back for the money he's been giving her family, and SURPRISE it's the guy from the bar, Harry freakin' Styles.

They play a bit of a game of back and forth with the money until finally he outsmarts her and just pays their bills ahead.

Ever the sexy Englishman we know him to be, Benny begrudgingly finds herself fantasizing about Harry.

Benny's childhood friend, Allison, who took her to the bar works at a salon, Benny is there visiting when who should walk in for a bit shave but the British beguiler himself.

Benny and her "bestie" Allison get in an argument when Allie insinuates that Harry is gay because he wasn't reciprocating Allie's flirtations at the salon—Benny thinks that's bullshit on several accounts, defends Harry and homosexuality all in one go, leaving her both slightly aroused and confused.

Under pressure to find a job so she can pay her own families bills and tell hot Harry to metaphorically F-off, Benny goes on a job hunt in town and finds nothing. So then she goes outside of town, where she experiences sexual harassment and utter dissolution. On the way home from this, her car breaks down.

With no other options, she calls Harry, who sends his employee Liam to pick her up. She spends time at the garage with both of them, waiting for Harry to fix the car. They have a little moment in the backyard, then Harry ruins it.

That pretty much brings things up to speed.

***TRIGGER WARNING***
This chapter contains mentions of anxiety, panic attacks, and abortion.

Benny's POV

I've been sitting in the same spot for so long I think I actually might qualify as part of the decor.

The living room has been bathed in blue pulses since before sun-up, background actors in the news anchor narrative mill around on the television between commercials for shaving cream and mint jelly.

Who the fuck eats toothpaste-flavored jam?

Mom's milling around in the kitchen, knowing better than to try to engage while I'm in the midst of notes and papers and soaking in the news. Every now and then I'll hear the familiar sound of the newspaper pages turning or clearing her throat.

"Have you heard from Harry yet, dear?"

Turns out the car wasn't such an easy fix.

After several fruitless attempts to dissect and diagnose her, the old yellow wagon was quite frankly, kaput. Whether just an excess of miles or some mechanical fault, neither of us knew.