MaAn Love

The After Party

(At the Vanika launch)

“…Insaan hu. Bura lag hi jatha hai..” as she utters these words she feels his heart break. In that moment she understands that her words have caused him more pain than she is in & she closes her eyes, hoping the earth would open up and swallow her whole.

Anuj sees her closing her eyes, he thinks it’s from the pain of being lied to and he grabs her hand instinctively. Her eyes open, wide in shock… No… she doesn’t look shocked… Is that guilt? As he tries to comprehend her thoughts from her face, he feels a light warm hand grab him. He feels himself being dragged away…

Anu feels her heart stop when Anuj grabs her hands. They had supported her before but this felt different. In the split second she takes to open her eyes, she realizes something -Anuj doesn’t owe her anything. He had always been there for her even at times when her family had deserted her. But what had she done for him? even as a friend? She tries frantically to remember a time when she had helped him, or a conversation where they had talked about his life, his parents. Guilt fills her eyes as she realizes what a terrible friend she has been.

As she sees him being dragged away by Malvika towards the food section, excitedly pointing at something… she sees the confusion on the face of the man she loves… THE MAN SHE LOVES? She feels more miserable than before; wondering did ever she deserve his adoration at all?

*************

Anuj feels his thoughts being brought back to the present. Mukku is saying something about coming home. He remembers, Mukku knows nothing about his accident… yet another important woman in his life kept in the dark. He hastily fills her in, watching her face go from shock to disbelief, from anger to concern and finally from relief to a playful smirk when she hears that “his Anu” is staying with him and “taking care” of him. Mukku’s teasing was always worse than her anger, he thinks to himself as he’s once again being dragged… this time towards Anu, who’s at the entrance, with an unsure look on her face.

As Anu sees Anuj walk… no… being helplessly dragged towards her, all that guilt and pain fades away and she makes a silent promise to be better, to be worthy of this idiot man’s love.

*************

The car ride back home feels particularly awkward to Anu. Anuj keeps looking in his rearview mirror trying to catch a glimpse of her face. Malvika fiddles with the radio as she and GK kaka make plans to spend the night at her suite. They have a lot to catch up on… Trying to remember all the names of the women kaka dated in the last 10 yrs will be an all-nighter task, Malvika complains playfully. A soft song starts playing on the radio and the lyrics pull Anu from her million racing thoughts. Her face grows hot and she realizes she’s blushing as the lyrics hit:

“Hui teri ab jaana na kahi

Yeh batein mulakatein

Tujhko hi yeh dil chahein”

She instinctively looks up at the mirror when the female voice goes:

“Dheere dheere maine teri ankhon mein dekha
Dheere dheere mera sabhi tujhe hi diya

Jaane tu na batein meri, kahoo toh main bhi kya”

And locks eyes with Anuj.

A feeling that this night could only get worse lifts as he sees Anu looking at him from behind - her cheeks flushed, a small smile on her face & a look that he is all too familiar with – of love & adoration. As the lyrics play he wonders if he is imagining things… maybe the City Hospital doctor missed something & he really did have brain damage?