I COULDN'T HELP IT. I FELT LIKE I WAS DROWNING IN MY misery, tears, and thoughts. The water was now above me, making me lose air from my lungs. Making my lungs fill up with the salty tears of the ocean I created. My own creation. The ocean I made could have been beautiful, maybe even likable but the ocean became a tsunami. All those thoughts, anxiety, and worries flooded over me, it became a part of me. The tsunami drowned me even worst than the big wave from before.
The tsunami started when she died. She wasn't supposed to die. He was the one. He was the one that was supposed to die that night. Why wasn't he the one? He should have been the one! The old memories were a blur. Everything was a blur. The yellow liquid flowed down her legs. Her neck was going to have rope marks after they got her down. I remember looking at the yellow liquid instead of the red slashes on her wrists. That's why she wore long sleeves in summer.
"Love, are you alright?" Brahms asked you, he was a lot more confident with pet names now. Underneath the mask, he looked concerned. You looked at him with a straight face. But, soon smile at him. "I'm not"
"Do you want to talk about it? Or..?"
"I don't. I just-.. I just... I want a hug. Please?"
And with that, his arms wrapped around you, you sat in between his legs with your head laying on your chest. You felt it again. Something you haven't felt in years after her passing. You felt like you were floating again. The waves calmed down, not towering over you like they use to. You stayed afloat when you were with him. He made you stay afloat as she did. But, he was somehow better at it. Maybe it's because my mother never bothered to take me out of that broken home. Brahms kept me together. He kept me from shattering into pieces.
The tsunami disappeared when I was with him. And it will stay that way.
