When The Tiger Lilies Bloom | Taekook

6. The Beautiful Chaos

"It hurts Kookie... Everything here... It hurts more than it should. A place where my eyes can't find you feels like heaven without tiger lilies. And it's not even a place where I belong. I want to be with you, Kookie... Where are you?" 

Without even knowing, tears streamed down from his eyes, touching his flawless face. Each drop felt like dripping on an open wound and it stings his cracked heart. This is not just today, this is not because of just some words he heard. This love towards the man he calls Kookie started from the very first day when his eyes met the other in the library.

Taehyung hates to go there, but it was Namjoon who dragged him there saying they have some council work. The younger one was complaining all the way long, how Namjoon is gonna spoil his evening by making him do something he doesn't love, doesn't really care. The president managed to convince a stubborn Taehyung. Nevertheless, the complaints stopped the moment when Taehyung found someone sketching something while sitting on the last row of the library where the old books stacked up.

He peeked at the page but the painting was an incomplete one and he couldn't understand the art piece at that time. But one thing caught his eyes and that was the eyes. Even though the look was sharp and concentrated on the page, Taehyung spent a little longer reading those orbs, thinking that he could finally get a glimpse of what he was searching for all those times. From there, the doe-eyes caught him hanging, made him spend most of his day in the library, and pretended to have an art project about old dusty books. No one judged him. The taste of Kim Taehyung has always mesmerized the world- unique, pure, and pretty. 

It took Taehyung one and a half days to finish the art of organizing the old dingy shacks of the library just to convince Namjoon to retrieve the details about his just infatuation guy, the president agreed to his friend, of course, after completing the terms and conditions. 

Taehyung knows that the one he's in love with may not know him, but that's not what pains him the most. Even he doesn't know why he was crying. Isn't it fine, since his Kookie doesn't know him and his love, what's so big deal about it? Taehyung has all the freedom to love the other in the way he wants. Then? That's where it all hurts. That's where he feels he's a void that will never be filled with love. Taehyung sees himself begging to be loved and cherished in the future by someone who will never understand him, who will never be Jeon Jungkook. 

As he stood there, struggling to portray the city in front of him with the blurred vision, the train of thoughts became more frustrating to his previous truce. His hands automatically went to hold his chest where his tired heart lies, beating in search of a reason and he could feel his pulse through the veins on his fingertips. Life when there's no reason to hold on feels catastrophic. It doesn't end up everything, but let you strive until you find a way out. Some fall, some fail, some give up, some- the last some like Taehyung takes a deep breath and wipes their tears without letting anyone know and wears the most beautiful smile, masquerading the agony. Because for them, life goes on even if they are stuck or surviving. Time goes, with or without them. 

"You will find your peace soon, soulmate..." 

Taehyung heard the small voice whispering in his ears, and the comforting hold of his best friend caging him from behind. It took him merely a second to relax under the touch of Jimin, and let the last drop of his tears fall. He's thankful that Jimin knows everything. He really didn't have to explain to his best friend why his eyes were swollen and his heart was sore. Taehyung placed his hand on Jimin's, taking several deep breaths and biting hard on his lips so he could control his emotions and reply to his friend. 

"I need love, Jiminie... And everything will follow..." 

Jimin pauses, forgetting that he's there to console his best friend not to break down along with him. He hates to see the way Taehyung stiffens after saying that because they both know each other's longings. Without wasting a second, Jimin tightened the hold around Taehyung, even after having the height difference, he believed that Taehyung could feel the tenderness of that gesture.