although // shin ryujin

only chance

(ryujin's POV)

"okay, so I gathered you here because I have something I want to say." I said, as I observed the four girls who were all patiently watching me and waiting for whatever I had gathered them here for.

it took a lot of thought and consideration, but I thought it was only fair to vaguely tell them about jangmi and i. first of all, they weren't really convinced jangmi just cut connections with all of us simply for work, and second of all, it was really tiring to know that not only could I probably never see jangmi again, but I couldn't even talk about her, so if I tell them at least my feelings for her, I'd get to talk about her and they'd tease me about her, and so on, at least keeping her memory alive.

I took a deep breath, "okay, so, I gathered you all here to talk to you about jangmi."

I watched the girls nod and took it as a sign to continue, "so you guys probably don't know, but I really really like her--"

I was interrupted by the sudden outburst of laughing from the girls.

I glared at them, "what's so funny?" I asked as I crossed my arms.

chaeryeong pointed at me, "she thinks--" she couldn't even finish her sentence because she busted out laughing again, "she thinks we didn't know!"

"ryujin, we already knew, you are soo obvious." lia added on, but doing better than chaeryeong because she was holding in her laugh.

I glared at them once more and they caught on to the hint that maybe now was not the time to be laughing.

I cleared my throat and ignored them, "anyways, that being said, jangmi and I decided to not see each other anymore so we wouldn't get in trouble, resulting in why you guys aren't seeing her, either."

they were silent, but they were looking at me, anticipating for what I was going to say next.

"you guys are welcome to see her separately. she's not ignoring or avoiding you guys, only me." I said in a whisper.

immediately, I felt the other girls wrap me in a group hug, "well, her avoiding you would kind of be impossible." yuna said.

I looked at her, "why's that?" I asked, "and don't say its because i'm irresistible because I thought so too at first, but she's been ignoring me for a good two months, now."

yuna laughed and shook her head, "you are so stupid-- has nobody told you?" she asked.

I tilted my head to the side, "told me what?" I confusedly replied.

lia butted into the conversation, "JYP wanted her to collaborate with TWICE, but since they already have a world tour, he changed it to us. she's going to collaborate with us."

I gasped, "so.. you're saying jangmi is going to be working with us?" I repeated, wanting to make sure I heard her right.

she nodded.

"okay, but what type of collaboration?" I asked, because if it was a song, we'd only see her for about a day, before the rest is just us going back and forth in the studio at different times.

"some sort of reality show where we each choose partners and stay together in a dorm and do challenges and stuff." yuna answered.

I gasped again, "oh my god, you all better choose each other and leave her for me, you got it?" I threatened.

lia laughed before putting on a serious face, "but what if that's not what she wants? she wanted to stay away from you to avoid getting in trouble, so what makes you think she'd want to be partners with you, now?" she warned.

I thought about it. she was in every way correct, and although it would hurt, I'd do whatever she wants me to do, and if that means getting little to no interaction with her after two months away, while she's right in front of me, then i'd do it.

"you're right--- but, leave the possibility in case she changes her mind, okay? at least try." I pleaded, knowing that even though it might not happen, at least the girls had my side and would try to let it happen if it was meant to be.

it could be my only chance.

...

it was hard living like this. living in a memory, but I didn't know any way around it. if my world revolved around her, then how could I just move on with my life and pretend as if nothing happened?

how would that even work out?

because it's either her or nothing.

I found myself at the rose garden for the hundredth time after we called whatever we had off, and even though it was filled with (now painful) memories of her, It was my comfort place. the place I knew i had some sort of connection to, and the only place I knew was now just for me, since I don't think jangmi had ever visited here after everything went down.

It made me feel sorry, though, because this used to be her comfort place, too: the place where she'd come here and reminisce of her mother and seek comfort and overall just hide away from the world temporarily, and I took that away from her.

but she took a lot away from me, too, so I'd like to think she'd settle it as even for me.

I observed the garden. the once-burned roses, that were a result of some weird incident on that day jangmi broke up with keeho, were now replaced with blooming roses, but unlike the new changes the roses represented, jangmi seemed to have kept her old ones.

I think it was a few days after we decided not to see each other anymore, when I opened up twitter, as I usually do, to see jangmi and keeho trending. of course, I was confused at first, because to my knowledge, nobody really knew they broke up, until I figured out that they were just breaking the internet for being the world's favorite couple-- again.

but in all honesty, I didn't really know what was worse: the fact she returned to keeho, even if she was just serving it as a distraction, or the fact that she did it so quickly. it hurt knowing she didn't need time to recover.

nonetheless, it didn't matter, because no matter what she does, somehow, I knew she'd drop it in a heartbeat for me, because I'd do the same for her, too.

and maybe that's why I never stopped thinking of her.

because she was going to come back--- she had to, one way or another.

and maybe not in the way I wanted to, or even in the way I thought of, but it was happening. I was going to see her again, and It made me happy that I at least get to see her with my own eyes, once more.

________________________

A/N:

I LIED-- IK I SAID ONE CHAPTER UPDATE PER DAY, BUT HERE'S TWO.

I was gone for sooooo long, it's the least I can do. PLUSSS I needed some sort of filler chapter for whatever is about to go downnnnnn.

thanks for reading!!