although // shin ryujin

different flowers for a new start

(jangmi's pov)

my heart was racing.

although ryujin already left, and that director lady had payed no attention to us, there was that tiny voice in the back of my mind telling me that she somehow saw us and i should run away.

although it sounded like a good idea, i decided to ignore it.

surely if she saw something she would've pointed it out or at least had a suspicious change in her attitude.

i took a deep breath before i mumbled a goodbye to the still-busy director and slowly made my way back to my room.

after finally finding the room number, i hesitantly grabbed the doorknob, letting my hand rest on it as i took another deep breath and prepared myself for a night alone with ryujin. usually, that would be fine, amazing even, but that was if we were two months in the past. not now.

but before i could turn the knob, i felt it twist from the other side and i watched as the door swung open to reveal ryujin who already looked ready for bed.

"i was just about to come looking for you." she said as she gently grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.

i scoffed, "in your pajamas?" I asked, closing the door behind me as I made my way in. 

she only nodded before dragging me to the couch and sat down as she patted the spot next her, signaling for me to sit down, too.

i looked at her, waiting for her to speak up, but she only stayed silent. i raised an eyebrow in confusion and was about to open my mouth to say something before she finally interrupted.

"there's only one bed." she squeaked out, as she nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck, making it very clear she was nervous.

i nodded, "okay.. i'll sleep on the couch, then." i responded as i pushed my self up. i was about to walk away to get ready for bed as well, until i felt her hand wrap around my wrist.

i huffed in annoyance and slowly turned around to face her, "yes?" i asked impatiently.

"you can just sleep with me— we're basically dating. plus, i don't want you to sleep on this tiny couch." she suggested, in a whisper. i stared at her for a few seconds, noticing how she avoided my gaze and fidgeted with her fingers.

i sighed, "we still haven't talked about what happened between us, so we are not basically dating, and we've been away for a while, spending the night with you would be awkward. thank you, though." I replied.

with the way I've been coldly treating her, one might think my feelings for her had faltered, or even disappeared completely, but that wasn't the case, at all. I just didn't want to give her that satisfaction, especially not when we met again like this.

but it seems like she wasn't just yet ready to end the conversation-- "jangmi, do you still love me?" she abruptly asked, which caused me to spin around and face her again.

I blinked a few times as I stared at her, "huh?" 

she nervously laughed, "it's okay- never mind, you don't have to answer." she said, her voice breaking, as she turned away, "I think I already know the answer."

my heart broke at her last sentence. did she really think I didn't love her anymore? was I that cold to her? nonetheless, of course I still loved her! how could she think I didn't anymore?

I sighed as I took my spot next to her again and grabbed her hand. "of course I still love you. I never stopped loving you and never will. how could you think of such a thing?" I genuinely asked, as I scooted closer to her. 

she finally looked over at me, "i-i don't know, its just you've been, um, acting differently." she hesitantly said, "but maybe I was just overthinking it, after all, I've only seen you since yesterday." 

I nodded at her, as I watched her eyes travel to our connected hands. "thank you for reassuring me. I still love you so much, too." she spoke, which caused me to giggle. 

she gave me a funny look, but dismissed it as she continued, "with that being said then, I got you something." she said, as she got up from the couch and walked to the closet. I watched her as she swung the door open and grabbed something inside, but since the closet door opened to face towards me, I couldn't see what she had just put behind her back.

I gave her a confused look as she stiffly made her way back to me, trying hard to make sure I couldn't see what was behind her back. 

"what is it?" I whined, but she only shook her head in response.

"close your eyes first." she demanded in which I immediately followed. 

I heard the the sound of something shuffling, before she finally told me to open my eyes again. 

I opened my eyes to the sight of something I wasn't expecting at all. 

they were flowers.

but this time, they weren't roses.

"I know roses were our thing, and they might always be our thing, but I got different flowers these time to signify a new start for us, if you still want to."