I Lied, I Do Love You

Part 2

            After her confrontation with Lourdes, Michaela called in for as many sick days as she could before it would warrant suspicion. She didn't know how to look her best friend in the eyes, knowing she was responsible for breaking her marriage down just by somehow being alive after so much time had passed. If she couldn't even look Lourdes in the eyes, she didn't know what she was going to do when she encountered Jared. It's not like she could even avoid him, being partners and all.

Being partners with Jared? It was the only normal thing in her life right now. It was the only thing that hadn't changed the second she stepped off that plane. For the first time she briefly wondered who his partner in her absence had been. Did she screw up their life by coming back too? Who else had she affected by being alive? Her own father looked at her with pain in his eyes, thinking about her mother who was too late to see the miracle of her children coming back to her.

Yesterday had been her last sick day, she knew. She knew and yet she couldn't bring herself to walk into her own precinct. Was it even really hers anymore? Everyone had acted like they were happy to see her, the Chief had told her she could be on a desk as long as she needed to feel ready to be in the field again. That had struck her as odd, after all it had only been days in her mind. She had only been on a short weeklong vacation. They had seemed so genuine, so she pushed it back, decided not to question it. But thinking about Lourdes now, she wondered how much of it was for show. How much of their feelings were they hiding?

Instead of her desk, her feet took her to the river, and she climbed up on the stones to get a clear wide open view. Periodically she stopped her back and forth pacing on the precarious ledge to simply stare at the way the sun glinted off the rushing rapids below. Even the water seemed angry with her today. Was it urging her to do what she knew she must? If only she hadn't come back, everyone's lives would be simpler, happier, just as they wanted them. If only she was removed from the equation. She couldn't deny it any longer, their lives were easier without the disastrous screw up of Michaela Stone to weigh them down, drag them under the current with her like a ball and chain locked around their ankles.

"Wait–!" someone's shout pulled her from her thoughts, and she turned hardly on her ankle to find who was screaming at her. As she twisted her ankle, she cried out in pain at the same time she lost her balance and fell backwards. "No–!" voices rang, terrified, as she grasped at air, unable to stop her descent. Her own terrified shriek filled the air as she felt the wind howl around her before she slammed into the water. It stung and her whole body felt like a rock as she fought against the waves. Her lungs began to burn as she tried to get to the surface, but like her metaphorical thoughts, she was like a stone and no matter how hard she fought, Michaela wasn't getting anywhere.

Michaela's last focused thought was of Jared. His face came to her mind, and she struggled. She watched him scream and cry and rage at her for not being strong enough to come back to him. "No, no, Jared I'm trying. I'm trying!" she screamed back in her mind. "Jared!" she choked on his name, crying out for him as her world faded into black.