When she would walk into class the next morning, she would feel like that everyone, even the teacher, was watching her. She was so ashamed of herself for doing that to herself again when she told herself she wasn't going to do it again the last time she had done it. But it's always going to be like that, isn't it? She won't ever stop doing this to herself, no matter how many people tell her to.
"But I just can't help it" is all she could say to herself. She knows that she can try and stop, but she wouldn't put herself up for it. That would be too much of a hard challenge. She would miss the feeling of it sliding across her wrist.
But it's like her addiction. It will always be a part of her life, and the scars will be the only reminder she'll have from it.
The way her long sleeves hung over her hands made nearly everyone in the room stared at her. She's getting attention, right?
That's what they think she wants. Attention. To be what? Prettier than all the other girls? YES! She would dread that. Maybe just don't judge a book by its cover. Yeah, those girls maybe are the prettiest girls you've ever seen, but they're probably the most horrible bitches you'll ever meet in a lifetime.
And the same with her; she always puts on a fake smile, to make herself seem she's happy with her life; happy with herself, but, actually, deep down she's actually dying inside, and crying herself to sleep every night. So calling her names won't make it better than it already is. She has cried an ocean compared to you.
But I can tell you now, she would much rather kill herself tonight than get attention in her class. Those horrible, selfish people sitting around her, giving her horrible glares because she's different from all of them, and when I mean different, I mean different clothing, and different hairstyles. All she ever wears is black jeans and a black hoodie, which symbolizes her as 'danger' to others or 'Gothic', which makes her upset because she doesn't choose to wear them, the sharpness of the blades she uses do.
She would much rather cut her wrists and thighs tonight so deep than go and socialize with the slaggy girls in her year because she thinks she's an embarrassment to herself when she compares herself to the other girls. She compares herself to every single girl she sees. Girls who are maybe prettier than her when they cover their faces with inches of makeup on. She can't be bothered to make herself look pretty, because she knows it will get smudged by her tears by the end of the day, making her look even uglier than she is now, she thinks anyway.
So don't you dare say that she's doing this for attention. She would much rather go kill herself, like they all say, tonight than do this to herself every night. She's brave. Probably one of the bravest people on this planet. Do you know why? Because she hasn't killed herself yet. So she thinks the easiest option is to do this to herself, for now, so no one will be upset that she has gone.
What do you think?
