Request by 31LouisTomlinson31
Yeosang pov
"Jongie come here." Wooyoung playfully says. We are eating our lunch in one of the rooms at the KQ building before we get back to practicing. I'm not sure of the occasion, but I think that everyone is acting a bit more clingy today than normal, even Jongho. He didn't budge when Wooyoung pulled him into his lap, and didn't push his face away when Wooyoung shoved a chopstick holding a piece of tteokbokki in front of his mouth. I look across at all of my members and saw that they were all cuddled up and feeding each other. Looking down, I grab my chopstick and push the food on my plate around. I feel strange. I want to be held by someone, contrary to my normal demeanor.
"Hey, Woo-" I start but am interrupted.
"Everybody, let's go for boba after this!!" Wooyoung shouts over me. I hear a couple cheers at his words, mostly from San.
Hongjoong, being the leader that he is, says, "You know we can't do that. We have to make sure we have Deja Vu down pat for tomorrow, before we do anything else." Wooyoung looked over at Hongjoog with sad eyes. "You know that's not going to work." He deadpanned and Woo looked away. "Speaking of, we should get back to the practice room in a couple minutes." I heard a couple of groans, once again, mostly from San.
"Is everyone done?" The eldest asked. Regardless of if we were finished with our food or not, he starts collecting everyone's plates and garbage. I see him pause for a moment at my plate, seeing it was barely touched, and just carry on grabbing the rest.
"Do you need help?" I asked in a voice that sounded a tad weaker than I would have liked.
"No, I'm fine." Seonghwa replied, "Just go down to the practice room or something." He said without even looking up at me. So they didn't want to touch me before, but now they don't even want to look at me. That hurt a lot more than I would've thought it would.
"Oh, okay." I turn around and start walking to the practice room alone. Wooyoung was carrying San on his back with Mingi tagging along, Seonghwa and Hongjoong were picking up the food together, and Yunho and Jongho were both already way down the hall, most likely so they could start practicing before anyone else did and I was alone, again.
I was alone when we were eating, alone when we were walking to the practice room, alone walking to the van, alone on the van, alone when we got home, and everytime in between. I don't know how else to describe what I feel besides touch starved. I need a San hug, or a Wooyoung hug, or even a Jongho hug. I'm not picky, I just need a hug.
I was sitting at the kitchen table, eating what I didn't during lunch, when I realized that it was strangely quiet in the dorms. Normally, I would've heard Wooyoung's loud laughter every couple of minutes, but I haven't really heard anything since we all got home. Did they all leave? Without telling me? What did it matter, I thought. It's not like it would even make a difference if they were here or not, they wouldn't acknowledge me either way.
I turned back to my food. I sighed and put down my chopsticks again. I continued staring at my food, thinking and feeling absolutely nothing. What was happening to me? I don't normally act like this, why do I want attention and comforting touches? None of it makes sense to me.
I put my face into my hands and closed my eyes. All of a sudden, I felt warmth spread on the top of my head, contradicting my itchy and cold skin. The feeling of contact that I've been missing so much causes me to grab the hand that promptly left my hair. I whimper as I place it back on top of my head. I feel soft rubs from the hand and it makes everything fall apart. It's like I was a broken dam that was supposed to be keeping all of the water from spilling over, but failed at its job. I felt all of the emotions that I was keeping inside spill out from me in the form of tears. I pull my comforter closer to me as my silent tears turn into full on desperate sobbing. I feel my body being lifted up as I cling on to them while being brought out of the room. In my hazy state I look up to see who it is and all I need to know is short black hair. San.
