Home is a Four Letter Word

chapter seven

The First Week of April

"Can you believe prom is in a couple days? It'll be our last one... no more. Graduation will be in a couple weeks, and then everything is over."

Connor looked out the front window, frowning at the thought. Jake couldn't help but look over to him with surprise. He hadn't expected Connor to be the first one to talk, and he sure as hell hadn't expected him to be sentimental about anything in this town, especially high school.

"You really wanna stay around high school?"

Connor shook his head adamantly. "Hell no. Everything is just moving so fast. Before we know it, we'll be moving into college."

Jake nodded, understanding the feeling, but somehow not quite bothered by it yet.

"You going to college?"

"Yep, Ohio State. I was aiming for UCLA but I didn't get in, so I guess I'm stuck here."

"When did you get your letter?" Jake pried in curiosity as to why he hadn't gotten his.

"Well I did early action, so a couple months ago."

"Oh."

Jake's only regret this year was falling behind on his college application process. Last fall had come up so quickly he hadn't realized deadlines were set and all of them were passing by quicker than he could catch them. Football had kicked his ass. Hunter was on him every day at practice about setting up team workouts, and coach was dead-set on making it to championships while his golden trio was still around. Jake just hoped that his admissions possibilities hadn't been fucked over by a sport he would never play again.

"You haven't heard back?" Connor noticed his dropped expression.

"No, not yet. It's my dream school... I'm starting to get nervous."

"Well they do admissions in rounds. Maybe they just haven't gotten through yours yet. Don't worry you'll get it eventually."

You're just being nice. You know as well as I do what that means.

"What are you going for?" Jake detoured the conversation away from himself.

"Ideally, pre-vet. I work at the clinic right by the school, and I think I want to be a vet tech honestly."

"Oh, I didn't know you work there."

The only one of Jake's ex-girlfriends left in this town also worked there. He didn't know if she still did or not, but a part of him couldn't help wondering if she was there and if she and Connor were friends.

"I was coming home from there actually when my car took a shit on me." Connor shook his head as if he was distracted. "Anyways, what do you want to do?"

Jake took a deep breath, preparing his story. "Natural Resource Management, if I get into OSU."

"Oh, nice."

"If not," Jake continued. "I don't know. I applied everywhere else under Environmental Science, but I don't think that's really what I want."

"Well you could always go to one of the branch schools. They take pretty much anyone, and I think the one near here does all the earthy shit."

"I thought about it, but I just... I don't know."

Jake swallowed thickly. He knew exactly why.

"I really wanted to finally go to the city, you know? Get outta here for a minute before I have to come back."

There was a subtle nod before Connor spoke. "If you're going to escape, why are you coming back?"

Connor looked to him, his head tilted over in contemplation. The more his eyes searched Jake for an answer, the less he was able to give him one. It made him feel vulnerable. It sobered him and left him with the consequences of too much hope. He knew he would never truly escape. It was a fantasy he had constructed to make himself feel like there was a less depressing alternative to staying here forever.