Home is a Four Letter Word

chapter thirty

Graduation Day, Mid-May

"Dad, you're not smiling in literally any of these!" McKenna squinted as she held Jake's phone in her hands, scrolling back and forth.

"Jim! Come on, we gotta have at least one good picture..." His mother reached behind his back to tap his father on the arm.

"I'm smilin'." He grumbled, unenthused.

"Don't look like it." McKenna argued back with a mouth Jake would've gotten smacked for.

The sun was beating down on Jake, causing him to sweat all over underneath his navy graduation gown. Whoever told them they needed to wear solid black underneath these hot ass gowns needed to check themselves because it was quite surprising no one had passed out yet. Fortunately, the girls got to wear the green gowns and flowy dresses underneath or they would have been in the same boat. The two hour ceremony was long enough—sitting in the middle of the unshaded football field with the beaming sunshine overhead made it even worse. Jake felt like he was dying.

"Alright, one more and then I'm done." McKenna waved them all in towards each other in front of the gated entrance.

Jake couldn't remember the last time he had actually stood between his parents—feeling both of their arms on him at once. Actually, he couldn't remember the last time he'd ever felt his father's hands on him that weren't carried with the intention of causing pain or scaring him into submission. Part of him wondered if they had ever hugged in all of Jake's seventeen years on the face of the planet. He wouldn't have been surprised if the answer were no.

"Whatever. Good enough." She offered the phone back out to Jake as he quickly untangled himself from his parents with her word.

As he grabbed the phone from her hands, his eyes drifted out to where they found Aaron on the other side of the parking lot, smoking a cigar with a few other boys from the football team who had come for moral support. There were three graduating seniors this year—which Jake was told was the highest amount there had been on varsity at one time. He took pity on whoever would have to fill their shoes next year. The golden trio being gone would probably send their coach into tears by the second game of next season.

"I'm gonna go say hi to the boys real quick." He mumbled, not really directed towards anyone in particular, just for at least one person to hear.

He unzipped the front of his gown—moving the honors chords to the side—so that he could slip his phone into his pocket and walk off into the crowd without looking like a clown.

"Okay. I'm gonna find the Kellers. We'll see you boys in a minute." His mom called after him, but all he could manage was a thumbs up as he walked off into the crowd of families left and right all gushing over their new hometown alums.

In the distance, Jake watched Hunter put his arm around Aaron's shoulder and shake him with a smile that screamed 'let's party'. Jake smiled as he thought about what witty comment he wanted to say when he got up to them, but all of them were quickly shaken from his mind when a woman backed into him with a force he never saw coming.

"Ope!" They both mumbled, nearly at the same time.

"Gosh, I'm sorry ma'am." He reached out to make sure she was okay.

He was about to turn back the direction he was heading when a familiar voice froze him still in place. "Hey... Jake."

Connor wrangled himself out of the crowd from behind her. Jake dropped his hand back down to his side from her shoulder as he smiled off past her.

"Hey."

As Connor inhaled, his chest visibly expanded under the tight black button down he wore rolled up to his elbows like the last day Jake had seen him wear it under vastly different conditions. Jake allowed himself a moment to wonder where his gown went, but then again, any logical person who didn't have to do a photoshoot with everyone they knew would take it off immediately after leaving the stadium.

"This is uh, this is my mom." He gestured to the woman he just bumped into—a short, stocky woman with eyes of steel and dark hair just like her son's.

Mom. Holy shit. Okay.

"Mom, this is a friend of mine..."

"Hi, nice to meet you. Jake Holmes."

Jake offered his hand out for her to shake because he couldn't think of anything else to do. With a gentle smile that looked nothing like Connor's, she took it gently and squeezed his hand instead of shaking it. Something a mother would do. She seemed like the kind of woman who would have preferred to give him a hug instead, but she settled for what she got.

"Christina. How you doing, Jake?"

Freaking the fuck out, but it's fine.

"Not too bad. A little hot, but we're making do." He joked.

"Ain't that the truth." She laughed.

"Um, how are you doing?" He returned, not knowing where else to take the conversation because he really wasn't expecting to run into Connor—let alone his mother—and now he didn't want to come across as rude.

"Well, my little boy just graduated. I'd say I'm doing okay."

Jake couldn't help but look to Connor besides her—whose face was now unimpressed with a wide-eyed 'help me' glare.

"Okay, mom..."

"What'd you think of Kaylee's speech?" Jake raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, bold move." He said, referring to the entire line she threw in about how the only thing the school cared about was their sports reputation, and not whether anybody in the room actually passed academic standards as long as they could pass a ball. "I loved it."

"It was valid." Jake shrugged.

"Kudos to her for saying what's on everyone's minds." His mother added. "I'm sure a lot of parents in there have no idea how their kids made it this far."

"I can think of one." He looked back to the crowd of boys in the parking lot. "Speaking of... I need to go find him..."

"Right." Connor nodded, his smile fading.

"Well it was nice meeting you ma'am." Jake looked between them. "I'll uh, see you later Connor."

"Yeah." He faked a smile and nodded.

"See you around, Jake." She patted his arm in a friendly gesture that somehow felt more comforting than the way either of his parents had held his arms moments before.

"Bye."

He smiled as he backed away from them both, feeling hesitant about how quickly he slipped back into the crowd and how disappointed Connor was to see him go. Jake let his mind wander back to Connor as he scanned through the families once more, pausing to remember how his favorite outfit looked so good on him every time. That fitted shirt, and his black jeans, and those little silver rings he wore on his fingers that he expected no one to notice... but Jake did. Jake noticed all of it, because the whole time he was talking to Connor's mother he was trying not to think about how nice her son looked right in front of her. He tried not to think about the fleeting feeling in his stomach as he thought about turning back, just so he could see that pretty smile on that stupid little face one more time. His face burned red just thinking about it.

Fortunately for him, everyone else's faces were flushed too from that brutal sun overhead. It meant he didn't have to make up an excuse when he ultimately came up behind Aaron, draping his arm around his best friend's neck and stealing the cigar from his mouth like he had planned to from the start. The plan carried on like the detour he had just taken from his original path had never happened.

"How are we celebrating tonight, boys?"