Home is a Four Letter Word

chapter thirty-seven

Early June

Connor groaned awake while he tried reaching over Jake's head to turn off whichever God-forsaken phone was going off at whatever God-forsaken hour of the night it was. Jake had only been half asleep to begin with—just barely drifting off after he had spent the first thirty minutes in bed thinking about what excuse he was going to use tomorrow morning with his parents—but now was completely awake with the smack of Connor's hand on his face.

"Connor... what the fuck...?" He mumbled through a groggy voice.

"Your phone is ringing." Connor muttered back, barely coherent.

Jake turned his body over towards the nightstand and picked up his phone, an illuminated picture of Aaron's face covered in mud taking over the screen underneath the name 'Keller'. Without a second thought, he declined and dropped it back onto the desk—remaining unbothered by the commotion it made while flipping over. He rolled back over in bed, nestling his forehead into the space between Connor's shoulder blades, letting go of the interruption with a sigh as he fought his eyes closed for the second time.

It was only 12:32 AM.

Jake was honestly surprised Connor had fallen asleep so quickly. One moment they were watching Avengers out on the couch after dinner, the next he was all but carrying Connor's lazy ass to bed as he tripped into the bedroom. He made it all the way through the movie before falling asleep though, and for that, Jake was impressed. Jake didn't know if he could deal with another movie-sleeper. Aaron and Katherine were bad enough, and McKenna couldn't even be bothered to get off her phone most of the time. It made him grateful Connor respected movies enough to pay attention to them and bicker about them with him afterwards.

Everything fell silent again as the two of them stilled underneath the sheets of Connor's bed—curled in together to avoid how the cold front pushed in with the rain earlier was exacerbated by the air conditioning they couldn't turn off for fear of the humidity swallowing them whole. Time seemed to slow as Jake snaked his arm under Connor's, feeling the rise and fall of his chest with each breath as he seemed to fall back into a sleepy pace. Jake didn't think Connor was still awake, but he was conscious enough to pull Jake's hand down into his own, bringing their knuckles up to his lips with a soft kiss that sent Jake's heart fluttering through his tired chest. He tried not to smile. He tried not to think about it. He tried to ignore how warm it made him feel inside. He tried and failed because every second next to Connor was a second spent falling further into the rabbit hole of his wildest hopes and dreams, and he couldn't help himself from treasuring every moment as they came, wishing each one would last forever and always.

This is it.

This is everything.

This is perfect.

Jake closed his eyes as he took it all in, letting the reality of it all settle into his heart. The first time he had stayed over at Connor's house, it was by complete accident. It had been the last day of school and Jake had come over for dinner, but ended up passed out in Connor's lap a couple hours after they had decided to engage in a discourse on Marvel theories while staring at the ceiling in the dark. At the time, Jake had woken up on the couch, but Connor was there too, nuzzled under his arm like it was his home, and Jake loved every minute of it. This time he held Connor in his arms on purpose. He slept next to Connor Morgan like they were meant to their entire lives, and Jake wouldn't have minded one bit if that were to be the case. If this was all they had—stolen nights of secrecy in dark rooms worshiping conversation and soft touches that Jake had never felt before—then it would haunt his mind every waking moment until he returned to the shadows to take it back with open arms. He was halfway into letting it consume him whole when the phone buzzed on the table again.