Shinobi Chronicles: Naruto One Shots and Headcanons

🌟 Hashirama ♡ Secrets and Lies 🌸

~A mix of angst, fluff, and comedy, inspired by my friend's cat that was rescued from a trash pile, but is the best little comrade I've ever met~

Ninken - ninja dog

"Were you ever going to tell me, Hashi?" y/n asked in a low voice.

The Hokage scratched his neck nervously, trying and failing to maintain a neutral expression.

"I don't know what you're talking about, love."

Her eyes rolled.

"You think I don't know what goes on in my own house? What kind of idiot do you think I am?"

Knowing that it was too late to feign innocence, he raised his hands appeasingly.

"I'm sorry y/n."

"You lied to me!"

"Well I didn't exactly lie..."

"A lie by omission is still a lie," she scolded.

Really, this man was the leader of a village of shinobi, and this was how he acted?

"But he's so cute," Hashirama plead, referring to the small cat that he'd been hiding in their spare bedroom for the past few days.

"Hashirama, we are not - I repeat not - keeping that animal."

"He was all alone, just abandoned! If we let him go, he'll die! Please, y/n?" he plead.

"It's not that I don't feel bad, but who's going to take care of it? We both have duties to this village that leave little time for frivolities like pets."

"We could train him to be a shinobi? A feline ninken!"

Y/n sighed. Then stiffened when she felt something soft and fluffy brushing against her ankle.

"Aw he likes you," he cooed.

She looked down to find the creature twined around her legs, leisurely stretched out like he was ready to take a nap.

"Okay, he's kind of cute. But the question still remains."

"He can stay in my office with me while I'm working."

"Alright. I suppose I can bear to watch him while you're gone."

He rushed forwards and wrapped his arms around her, careful not to jostle the cat.

"I love you!" he said, giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"I love you too. But I'd love you a little more if he was potty trained."

Hashirama sweatdropped.

Madara paused after entering his friend's office. Then he began snickering.

"Is something the matter?" Hashirama asked.

"Oh nothing. Just admiring the fact you also have a fur collar now, just like your brother."

Hashirama gasped in affront. Madara was, of course, referring to the cat draped around the man's neck as if it were the most comfortable place in the world.

"He has a name, and he is a free cat, not some sort of accessory!"

"More like a freeloader."

"You're just like y/n," Hashirama grumbled. "Everyone is against us."

Madara shook his head in amusement and left.

~Bonus~

After returning from a difficult mission, Hashirama wanted nothing more than to relax and unwind with the woman he loved.

He was half worried that she might have actually turned the cat into a fur collar in his absence.

Instead, when he got home, his usual spot on the couch was occupied by said cat.

"Really, y/n? You can't scooch him over a little bit?" he pouted.

Y/n, who was wrapped up in a blanket alongside the cat, shrugged remorselessly.

"Nope. He's sleeping."

And so, Hashirama was forced to sit cold and alone on the other couch, watching his woman give her attention to their pet instead of him. He swore he saw the little fiend poke his tongue out at him.

"No loyalty among men...or cats," he lamented sorrowfully.