Warning: this book is a joke and making fun of shit like this lol, gay ass over the top unfunny nirvana (I'm a huge nirvana fan, Kurt had an actual skat kink he'll be fine)
I sit in my depression despair of a couch as the flames around me nearly burn my flesh as I still wear my 3 months unwashed jeans and sweatshirt and shit stained under wear... Sucks being a dilf ig 💔💯
I hear a roar down the hallway that is all to familiar...
"KUUURRRRTTEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY"
God I can smell the botax, morning breath and leftovers of every grunge a list celebrities jizz from here... cuntney loaf 🍞
The room shakes as her iron hoof stomps the floor, this big, hideous crampus looking thing with greasy unwashed hair and a ripping baby doll dress from goodwill...
"KURTY ?! IVE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU ALL DAY !!! I NEED TO STEAL 3 MORE OF YOUR LYRICS FOR THIS NEXT HOLE RELEASE ! " says cuntney.
"I DONT KNOW ANY OTHER CHORDS BESIDE A C AND E SO I NEED YOU TO TEACH ME STAT"
I sit staring back at this thing I call my "wife" as my neck cracks up before snapping my neck violently towards her with my dead, cold blue eyes
"I don't know how to say this cunty darling..." I mutter.
"I know of you and billy cumgans plans on stealing my work as your own only to kill me and take everything away." I say sweating as the flames around me grew higher feeling her anger and heavy breathing thicken into a toxic gas"
"That's why I brought my own one of a kind in 4k quality monkeys to salvage this like real men..." I say as the ground around me shakes violently as Dave comes barreling the door in like a bowling ball, flying down my floor hitting cuntney in the hoof.
She fell as she let out a furious screech only comparable to a dinosaur as fire comes shooting out her breath, melting our tv kissing bill Clinton's ass.
She picks up the table in hand and tosses it towards me as David pulls out the vines of his grapes that he let "pickle" in his ass for 6 months to tie around her neck.
I see death before my eyes until Krist breaks out from under my floor right infront of me, taking he hit of the table like the slender man rip-off he is as I am but a wee small fuck
He turns around with his glowing white eyes of power as he yanks my couch in one grab and throws it towards cuntney, breaking off one of her horns, causing her to screeetch so loud she summoned... him...
Billy cumgan began rising from the ground as the ground shook and crumbled around the man like a holy god. His smooth bald head of which tells the truth thus us casual folk couldn't begin to understand and withhold.
He reaches his long arm towards me with his zero shirt (same inches as his cummy wanger) and grabbed me, his one hand wrapping around and grasping my whole body accept face, rising me closer towards his face, pale, empty face.
Krist and Dave could just watch as they both could just hit the quan on cuntney to keep her down, as my thought death was arriving.
He brings me close enough to his face where my body trembles by the power of his breathing alone, I can stare at his face as I try to wiggle an arm loose...
"you fool" he said' "you absolute fucking fool. You think you are the ruler of the 90s ? What a joke... me and your tormenter- uhm I mean wife are gonna use whatever writing power you have to rule this country's music, you scum." He says spiting at me, his voice so powerful the world shakes.
I manage to get my arm loose from his grasp enough to reach in my pocket and grab my trusty one square slice of American cheese I always carry for times like these.
I pull plastic off the cheese while he talked slowey with my sweaty hands, getting my hands ready for execution.
"Oh... I see" I say looking down then back up at him
"Atleast I can't see my reflection on my head." I say as I throw the cheese at his head as hard as I possibly could, landing directly on his head.
He stood in shock, loosing his grip around me and dropping me where I land on Dave, breaking his back but fuck him he'll be fine.
He fell to his knees as he began to disenagrate into ash as he screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
We turn our attention to cuntney in the corner who is looking in awe and anger, she begins to start cussing and screaming but started morphing and shrinking into a little black New York type rat with her dress falling to the ground. She starts squeaking and runs away in a hole in the room, getting ready to fuck jerry
I get off of Dave's crooked back I landed on but he gives me a thumbs up. Even though his neck is broke backwards and I can see some of his bones poking from his skin, he gud 👍
I look at Krist and he chuckles to himself as the firey pit and flames around us are now out because Cunt tus away
"Haha well, I'd say it's been quite the evening !" Krist says as he looks at the camera with a funny face and cartoon noises play as an audience cheers and laughing and a bu dum crash happens
"Yea, I guess so". I say, dusting the dust of my shoulder. "Looks like it calls for celebration, wanna go to the local IHOP and have skatty gay hardcore loud sweaty threesome sex on the boof table with there syrup ?" I ask
"You bet I do ! *goofy the dog laugh*" says krist.
We start walking off in the sunset dragging Dave by the foot as he's now severally handicapped but in a cool way
The end *audiance starts clapping until an entire ape breaks though the movie screen and chases everyone off*
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
