Time gone by

Stuck

My name is Abigail I'm 31 years old and I live in New York City. I moved here 10 years ago with the love of my life. I'm originally from England born and raised, but when Eric (my fiancé) got a new job he was transferred to New York. We were living a life that we had always dreamed off.
I managed a dog home, for homeless and sick dogs and puppies. My fiancé was a hot shot agent of the stars, two very different careers but just as equally as important.
1 year ago he was rushing around doing his business meetings etc when he was hit by a car, he made it hospital even woke up and we spoke for 3 days, then on the 4th day his heart stopped beating. He had a brain haemorrhage, it happened quickly and there was nothing the doctors could do. The person who ran him down was never found.
So 1 year on and I'm still in New York and I still have the same job but I'm not living my dream life any longer. I was 16 when I met Eric, he was 18 and we clicked instantly, we were best friends for a while before we decided to start dating and then as they say the rest is history. From that moment I knew he was my soulmate, he knew me better then anyone ever had or ever will.
He was the love of my life and now he was gone.
I didn't really know how to navigate my life after that, so now I just work to exist, I don't go far and I don't do much. Mostly spend my free time with my best friend Lily who also happens to be Eric's sister. We were always close, she is the same age as me and we have a special bond.
She is currently dating one of Eric's clients or should I say he was one of Eric's clients. It's so weird to speak of him in the past tense.
She has been dating Sebastian Stan for 2 years now and they are very happy, very much in love and very much glued to each other 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It seems a bit much for me but If there happy that's all that matters.
Lily keeps pushing me to find someone, but I don't want anyone else, I had my love, my soulmate and now he was gone. I would never find anyone who knew me like Eric and in all honesty I didn't want to find anyone new.

Tonight was Lily's birthday, so I was meeting her at this bar down town. From what I could gather it would me, her, Seb and one of Sebastian's friends. I expected someone famous but it didn't really bother me, because of Eric's job I met a lot of famous actors and actresses and to be honest there no different then us, we are all human beings and that's the way I treat them.
I wasn't really looking forward to tonight because whenever lily has a drink she tends to bring Eric up a lot in conversation and it still upsets me. She also has a tendency to try and blame me for his death, she thinks there was more I should have done to get the doctors to save him. I should have had them run more tests or kept a closer eye on him, even though the doctors specifically said there would have been no indication that he had anything wrong apart from his obvious injuries. Mine and Lily's friendship became very strained after his death and we haven't been as close as we once were. I still love her dearly and will always be there for her but I try to keep my distance most of the time.

I was just getting ready when I got a text from
Seb, he asked if he could pop in before meeting Lily at her apartment, i of course said yes. Seb had become a really good friend of mine, especially since Eric's death, he and Eric were very close and in turn me and seb became great friends.
After a few minutes he turned up at my door, I invited him in, made him a coffee and we sat down in the living room.
"What's up Seb? You don't normally just pop round"
"I need your advice"
"About what?"
"About lily and Atlanta?"
"What do you mean? I thought lily was going with you?"
"She wants to come with me, but this is the last film I'll be doing with a lot of the cast and I kind of just want to go on my own so I can hang with them. It's only for a couple of months and she could come visit on some weekends, I just don't want her there all the time. I love her so much Abbie but I need some me time"
"Seb I've been telling you that for months. You too spend so much time together, lily loves you and she is scared she is going to lose you to some actresses, that's why she holds on to you for dear life. But it's not good for either of you"
"I know but how do I tell her that without breaking her heart"
"Seb, you need to sit her down and tell her how you feel but make it abundantly clear that you still love her."
"Of course I love her, I'm going to ask her to marry me when I finish with this marvel film"
"I know and she will love the ring. But she is going to feel like you don't want her anymore, so you need to make sure she knows how you feel. She doesn't have a lot of confidence in herself and she is always looking for a reason as to why someone doesn't want to be with her"
"God! It's so difficult. I don't want to hurt her"
"It's going to no matter what Seb but you need to talk to her"
"Thanks Abbie, your the best"
"I know, anyway I'll see you guys at the bar okay. I need to finish getting ready"
"Of course. Again thank you" he kissed my cheek and walked out of my apartment.
I laughed to myself as I carried on getting ready. They had such a complicated relationship and I always seemed to be dragged into one way or another.