Two Ghosts

Chapter 18

-Jade, hi!-I hear Steve's voice as soon as Sam and I walk into the party. The elevator brought us right in the living room, where my best friend is hanging out with who I think is Thor.
-Hey.-I smile and hug my friend, he then shakes Sam's hand with enthusiasm.
-Guys, this is Thor.-he says. Called it.-Thor, this is my best friend, Jade, and this is Sam.-I shake Thor's hand and he smiles.
-That's what I call a good grip.-he compliments me.-What do you drink?
-Tonight, whatever's available.-Steve laughs at my answer, but Sam stays quiet because he knows that deep down I was not joking.
-I like this one.-Thor puts his arm around my shoulders and leads the way to the bar.-So, you are friends with Rogers.
-That's right.-I nod and ask for a Jack and Coke.-All our lives.
-Isn't he, like...-he looks behind him before speaking, and I frown in confusion.-super old?-I laugh at his words and nod again.
-Yes, we are.-he laughs this time.-I took an enhanced derivation of the serum that made him...that.-we both look at Steve. Some girls are flirting with him and he is totally uncomfortable, he still is that skinny kid from Brooklyn.-Or at least the outside of that.
-So you're strong.-he kind of asks, but it sounds more like a challenge.
-You could say that.-I receive my drink and swallow half of it in one sip. I notice that Thor is impressed by how I have my drink, but I do not react to it.
-Jade!-before I could turn to my dear friend, Nat's arms are hugging me tightly.-How are you?
-You know.-I giggle and hug her back.
-Bearly existing.-we say at the same time and we laugh.
-I see you've met Thor.-she smiles. He nods and takes a sip of his beer.
-Where's Clint?-I ask looking around us, but I do not see him.
-Probably bragging about his new skin.-she replies, and then proceeds to explain her answer. This teams has the weirdest missions.-Hill was looking for you, by the way.-I have not seen her since S.H.I.E.L.D. fell, maybe she could fill me up with Fury's whereabouts.
-There she is.-the familiar voice of my nephew makes me stand up straigh.
-Tony.-I smile widely and hug him with the strength of all the hugs I did not give him in all this time.-It's so nice to see you.
-You, too.-he breaks the hug and points me with his index finger.-You haven't aged a day.
-Ha, ha.-he laughs and places his hand in Thor's shoulder.
-Rogers told me you were looking for Barnes.-he says, and Nat gives him the kind of look that would make other men shake in terror.-What?
-It's alright.-I assure her.-We are looking for him, but there's been no luck.-I shrug and take a sip of my drink. It is almost all gone already.
-I'm sure he'll appear.-he indicates the bartender to pour me another glass.
-Thanks, nephew.
-Nephew?-Thor frowns.-Are you two related?
-I was close to his dad.-I explain and Tony nods.
-She gave me my first condoms.-Nat laughs and covers her mouth while doing it.
-Yeah, you were, like, thirteen.-Tony also laughs and nods.
-Fourteen, actually.-I giggle and finish my drink, only to begin with the next. I notice that Sam and Steve are walking away toward the pool table behind Thor.-My dad's best friend.-Tony smiles, and I can see the melancholy in his eyes. He might have had a rough young life, but he loves his dad deeply.
-Is hard to imagine you in that historical context.-Nat comments, and Thor nods in agreement.-You're such a badass.
-Well, it was...-I remember all those times when I got locked out for speaking my mind, for telling the truth, for being honest, for being the strongest person in the room. I can recall the face of every man who looked down at me even though they knew I could break any bone in their body. I remember being called a threat to humanity for being the protector of our country and a woman a the same time.-It was complicated.-I shrug and smile to hide those memories in the back of my mind.

A few minutes later, Tony is dragged away for what I asume are fans of his, and Nat tells me she will make a move on Banner, so she also goes away, leaving me and Thor alone with our drinks.

-You are a great liar.-he says, like it is the most natural thing to say.
-Excuse me?-I frown. He is the first person to ever tell me that.
-I'm good at recognizing a liar, my brother is the God of Mischief, and I can tell you were lying just now.-he drinks more of his beer and looks at me like a teenager gossiping. I stay serious, but if what he says is true, he probably will not stop until I speak the truth.
-It was more than complicated.-I admit and look away, but he insists with his eyes. I exhale, annoyed.-It was a nightmare, okay?-he smiles and stands up straight.-Being a woman back then was a pain in the ass, society was broken, I was living in a cage long before they decided to lock me away in S.H.I.E.L.D.-I say way too fast. I look at Thor, whose smile turned into a frown.
-They kept you in jail because you're a woman?-he asks, and I nod sadly.-That's barbarian.
-It is.-I raise my voice and my body bristles, but I come back to normal instantly. Thor laughs a little, and I smile, a bit ashamed.-Sorry.
-It's okay to be angry, I know I'd be, too, if that happened to me.-he takes a sip of his glass again.
-Thanks for listening.-I line the edge of my cup with my fingers, avoiding eye contact. I cannot believe I let all my frustration out with a stranger.
-People don't expect this from us. They expect strength from the strong, not emotion.-he shrugs as I look up.-My brother died in my arms and somehow I have to find the way to be okay and help others.-I widen my eyes. His brother died? I thought he was just taken to jail.-It's a hard job, this one, but we should still have the chance to let it all out. We are still people, right?-I nod and show a little smile. He is much wiser than I expected, which is exactly what he is saying.-What's your family name?
-Williams.
-Jade Williams, it's been a pleasure sharing with you.-he offers his glass, and I click mine with his before we both take a sip.

We part ways in the party, but this little interaction I had with Thor is exactly what I needed. I do not think I have ever told anyone how I feel about my past, how I coped with the injustice and inequality, or how it felt when my own friends told me I would have to hide so I would not get killed by the people I was serving. The only person who would understand this is Peggy, and since Buck I have not been visiting. As soon as I get out of here I am going to see her.

-Williams?-I see Clint walking in my direction with a big smile on his face, and I feel some weight being taken off my back.
-Barton.-I also smile and receive him in my arms gladly.
-Long time, no see.-he says pulling away to look me in the eyes.-How've you been?
-You know, stressed.-I laugh.-How are you? How are your birds?-Nat, Clint and I came up with code names for his family, so anytime there were news about them, we would use the codes to keep them in secret.
-They're good, they're huge.-Clint talks about his kids like the grestest wonder of this world, it warms my heart.-We have one egg about to open.
-Oh, right. Nat told me.-I know my eyes are shining for Laura being pregnant, I remember her talking to me about being a mom someday with such emotion, and then she met Clint in S.H.I.E.L.D. and all pieces fell into place. I am so happy for them.-When?
-Couple months.
-Send pictures.-I order him.
-Yes, ma'am.-he laughs.

The rest of the night I focused on having some fun, forget about my problems and worries for a few hours and talk to my friends and laugh and joke and drink with them. The one thing that annoys me is that I cannot get drunk anymore because of the serum, but the drinks taste good, at least. Maria told me that she heard about my informants network and wanted in, so now I have a powerful ally. She also told me she did not know where Fury is, but Hill is Hill, she knows everything. If she does not want to tell me, there must be a reason, I guess.

-Anything new?-I hear Steve asking Sam on the other side of the room. I have learned how to intensify my hearing and control it so I can listen to the specific thing that I want and not all the noises around me at the same time.
-Cold leads and dead ends.-Sam answers. I drink my blue cocktail, it is sweet and feels nice on my tongue.
-What do you think?
-The guy doesn't wanna be found, so maybe we should leave him be.-it surprises me that Sam is giving up, I would have thought that he would fight until we found Buck, but he understands that there is a reason why we cannot find him.
-What about Jade?-Steve whispers this time, like he knew I was listening.-I promised her we would find him, I can't let her down.
-I think she'll understand.-I see Steve raise his eyebrows.
-How do you know that?-he smiles and mocks Sam.
-We've been living together for, like, half a year. I learned things about her.-Steve giggles like a kid.
-Don't tell me you like her.-I almost spit out the liquid inside my mouth. Please, do not make this happen, God, please!
-Ew, no!-to my relief, Sam answerd immediately.-She's like another sister to me, I don't like her like that.-his expression and the beat of his heart thell me that he is being honest. Thank God...-Actually, I know her so well that I know she's listening to this conversation. Aren't you?-they both look at me before I could turn my head and act natural. Shit. I walk up to them and admit my actions with a grin of guilt.
-Sorry.-I smile like a toddler who just got caught doing something bad.-Are you really not interested in me that way?-I cannot help it, I just ask. The thought never crossed my mind before tonight, and I do not need another thing to take care of right now.
-No.-he does not even hesitate, and I exhale in relief as he laughs.-Don't take it the wrong way, you're...
-Oh, no, no. I don't need you to kiss my ass. I don't want you to like me.-he laughs harder, and Steve joins him, too. After a few seconds, I speak.
-So, no more search?-Sam looks at Steve, and he nods sadly.
-I was thinking that, maybe, you could join the team.-Sam opens his eyes widely, and I frown.
-The team?-I ask, a bit irritated. He wants us to stop looking to join the circus? I mean, I know where Bucky is, but he does not, so he really is trading Bucky for his...band.
-The Avengers?-Sam uses the same voice a teenager would use to talk about their favourite reality show. I roll my eyes.
-We were thinking about training new people, we could use your skill and talent.-Sam looks like he will burst into tears of excitement, like he won the lottery.
-No, thanks.-I scoff, and before I could walk away, Sam stops me.
-Jade, what...?
-I'm not giving up on him.-I growl with the anger burning in my eyes.
-Think about it, maybe he doesn't wanna be found...
-Yeah, I heard the speech, Sam.-I let myself go from his light grip.-When I was overhearing, remember?-I look at Steve and sigh in frustration.-I am not giving up. I am not joining your group. I am not letting him go. Not again.-Steve's eyes drop to his feet, and Sam looks ashamed.-I didn't need you then to search for him, I certainly don't need you now.

Sam grabs my arm gently and leads me back to the car and to the hotel, where he pours some tea and apologizes. He says he still thinks we should stop, but I put my foot down. Now I am free to go to Rumania with Bucky without thinking about plans or worrying that they could find us. We will be okay.