AVENGERS REACT

I just need to let it out (Not a chapter) (Reading this is not compulsory)

Like I said before u do not have to read this, it's all up to you, I just got so mad that I had to let my feelings out a bit. And honestly, I can say that almost all Indian Girls can relate to this or at least some part of this.

Why do parents think they can do whatever the fucking hell they want? Yes, I get it 'we need to respect our elders' but what about us? I mean I never denied the fact that I have a huge ego, I do, but I really do not need my father to say that again and again, and I really need him to not scold me for being stubborn or doing what he calls "talking back". I mean Dude, I say what I say, I don't care if it sounds rude, I just cannot live my life if I don't get to say what I feel. 'Honestly is the Best Policy', right? Then why when I am honest do people hate that!? I lie, my parents have a problem with that. I tell 'em the truth they can't accept it and somehow it always ends with me not knowing how to speak to my elders or not being respectful.

No matter how many times I tell them that I honestly don't give a shit about their comments if they can't care about mine, they still always make my blood boil. And they tell me I can talk to them about anything, mostly it's my mom because my dad is not always home because of his job, though sometimes when he is, I have fun with him. My mom says I can talk to her about anything, then why can't I? I mean why can't I physically and emotionally talk to her. It's like my mind starts sending an alarm or sometimes I feel that even my heart commands my mind to just stay away from my mom that she is not the one I need to talk to, it won't help me.

See, I don't want anyone to take the wrong idea. I LOVE my parents I really do, but I just don't want to love them at times. They are amazing people only if they don't try to butt in my life or make comments on my life that I don't want to hear. Talking to my mom about some of my problems only makes me cry even more and gives me more anxiety. I mean I don't think I have anxiety, I don't know, but it just makes me feel even more anxious. Though I am really confident that anxiety is not something affecting me, since I don't have a problem with new people, instead they are the ones I love, since with then I can be someone totally different. They don't know me, so they won't have a problem with me simply being me.

And can't they just decide what they want? I am a 12-year-old brunette with a social life on a scale from any number to any. So, my mom tells me that I need to talk more with my friends and stuff, but I don't have a phone of my own so I use my mom's except when I talk with my friends or what I usually refer to them as acquaintances since I am always the one trying to start a conversation, but when I do we all talk for hours and I honestly don't even know what we talk about its just pure weirdness. So my mom wants me to talk to my friends but has a problem with me using her phone, and my dad believes that if I get a phone that is honestly really important o have since it gives you a feeling of ownership, that even though you don't really have anything, you are just one call or text away from getting comfort, (I mean I have some friends who are actually my friends).

Also some I feel suffocated even with my grandparents because sometimes I feel that they are also fake, like half of the people I know or the stuff people tell me is not the same. It's because I know that they lie, they don't tell me the truth and expect me to tell them. Isn't this inequality of some kind?

And I hate it when people are saying stuff like it's not great being a pessimist or something and then I know that someone or the other is looking at me. They just don't understand that I am a human and if they say that humans are complicated then they should have no problem handling me. I change from an Introvert to an Extrovert, or from an Optimist to a Pessimist.

I'm not sorry for posting this. But what you should know is that I did not post this because I want sympathy, if I want something it would be empathy. I don't want people telling me I am amazing because I don't feel like I am and I just think that it would be an insult for you to say so. Also, my brother is a huge headache, and I hate that if he did something wrong, I have to pay the price as well. Even small things such as switching off the internet (We can all say that is not a small thing).

-x-x-x

Thanks, I guess you stuck through my whole "I need to let my feeling out a bit" speech.

And Congrats! Not a lot of people can even stand me a moment in their lives (more like I don't like to be near people)

I like to talk to people who also feel like this and I don't need to tell you to "be strong and you'll always make it through!" because if you have come this far, I think you might make it farther.

I am sorry for those whose time I wasted and Thank you for those who maybe understood me and thought there is nothing to feel better about, felt better.

Love, 

Myrah