Painted memories

Chapter one: A Blessing of the past

Have you ever wondered what this world holds? What it knows? Have you ever wanted to ask what it's heart desires? Or what it's felt or seen? I know I have. I've wondered this since I was a child. But I kept my mouth shut for in this world questions was a sign of stupidity and disobedience.

I'm tired of living this way I have lived in this world for years now and though on the outside its changed on the inside its the same city I was born in. I couldn't help but feel out of place for this world felt like nothing but a stranger to me. All this world was, a black and white city with fools in charge of it

I hate Living for a government that doesn't have any sense of justice or value to our hearts. Were nothing but insects at there feet getting ready to be stepped on as if our lives have no value in them.

I thought this as I looked out my clear window. And I just gazed out of it wondering what my life had came to as the world of my own was slowly caving in on me and there was nothing I could do. I was on edge this whole time just waiting to break but like I've always have I stayed quiet and didn't say anything to cheer myself up I just bottled it up. Little did I know the lid I put on myself was slowly preparing to pop open and let all the emotions I held inside loose.

I looked down at my feet as tears tried to well up in my dead eyes. But nothing came out, Nothing but a soulless face expression laid on my face as I lifted my eyes up staring at my reflection.

My heart had failed me once again. With it's unwanted attachments and unknown emotions as well as how it was still strongly beating. It had failed me many times and even failed me in not letting me change just keeping me in a cycle I've been in since I was a child. What could i do? Change? That wasn't even an option for I was already seventeen and on the path for failure.
I looked out the clear glass window for it was so spotless it looked as if it wasn't there. Glaring at the world in a unknown anger.

Deeply thinking about nothing but also thinking about everything just watching as time past by me slowly while watching the life drain from my eyes slowly turning unknowingly dead. Holding on by the threads that tie my life into endless knots and endless ends. Twisting me into something entirely unknown and indifferent.

I shifted my attention to the dark smoky clouds as it was giving signs it was soon to rain, I continued to watch the clouds move by as the clock ticks by and time kept moving on. I then got closer to the window placing my hand on its cold glass looking down at all the people enjoying there empty lives walking to unknown places they truly do not wish to be and observing how much the world was changing. And all I could think of was the rules they placed on us making a mockery of us as if we were nothing.

In the distance past all the little houses beneath me you could see people of fortune walking right past those of need. And you could see those looking down on others just for the way they look. It pained me seeing such things as even I was like those people only observing them and not helping. But what could I do? I was nothing but a little abandoned girl observing the cruel world as the world around her crumbles around her.

I sigh and take a deep breath turning away from the window and getting on with my unwanted day trying my best to shift my heart to a different light. I turned on my light in the kitchen walking towards the island were all my knives and silverware sits. I pick up my phone putting on a song to calm my nerves and during all this the clouds started to prove my thoughts right. And it started to rain. Rain drops of all sizes began to drop down on my window as my wide window lets the sound of drops falling on my window through.

It was relaxing to me as the rain comforted me and washed away this melting emotions. Though most people hated rain I found it comforting knowing even this corrupted world found a way to express itself that even it cried. And it's tears provided... life in some sense.