but she survived | sae-byeok x ji-yeong

three words that burn oh so remarkably in my throat

A positive answer had led them to a local bar, the singer's smooth voice constantly in the background of the two girls' conversation. With the tingly sensation in Sae-byeok's throat from the numerous downed shots of apple soju, she couldn't help how her laughs got louder with each of Ji-yeong's terrible jokes. The shorter girl had looked at her weirdly the first few times, not expecting such a reaction from her usually tense girlfriend. Especially not when the air was supplied with loud voices from every direction. 

None of them knew how long it had been since they arrived. Only that Sae-byeok's dark eyes were getting drowsier and drowsier, head practically on the table. Ji-yeong hadn't noticed the small smile sneak onto her face at the sight before it was gladly returned with a toothy (obviously intoxicated) one by the girl in front of her. She hadn't ever seen her like this. Like she was free from those bitter thoughts that painted her face with that stoic expression. And if the shorter girl knew one thing, it was that she wasn't gonna miss it. So with her second drink in hand, not fully aware of what it was except it had a fruity aftertaste, she tried to uphold the conversation with a suppressed smile. 

"So, like- you think we should head back to the house?" Containing eye contact with the taller girl was practically impossible, her empty sight never directed at anything specific. "It's getting kinda late." 

Sae-byeok lifted her head off the table, making it look way too heavy for her slim neck. Her eyes felt heavy as well and somehow the music was suddenly so much louder, drowning out her girlfriend's silky voice. Only when a hand was placed on her shoulder, the palm warm through her shirt's fabric, did she realize an answer was awaited. "Huh?"

A soft laugh was expressed from the girl's lips, her thumb now rubbing circles on Sae-byeok's upper arm. "Do you wanna go home?" 

Sae-byeok's eyebrows knitted together, a horrified look instantly haunting her pretty features. Already? "No. No, there is one whole day for that, right? We haven't been here for that long!"

Ji-yeong found herself confused for just a moment before she realized. "Not home, but the house we have rented. Remember that?" 

The taller girl gently nodded her head, eyes surprisingly staying on her lover's. If the alcohol wasn't rushing through her veins, she would have looked around, embarrassed about raising her voice. Would have checked if anyone's gaze remained on her for just a little too long. But no. Not that night. Now they were empty but somehow still shining with a billion emotions. 

"Can you stay here while I go and pay?" Ji-yeong asked, tilting her head as she tried reading the girl's reaction to her question. 

"Of course, who do you think I am?" Sae-byeok shot back. Maybe she was trying to be sassy, maybe even look it, but her expression was blank, even gifted with a slightly raised corner of her lips. 

Ji-yeong smiled at her, quickly patting her hand with her own. "An intoxicated person." 

Sae-byeok didn't get the chance to answer, barely react, before the shorter girl had left the table, hips swaying gracefully as she walked away. Sae-byeok would definitely blame her lingering stare on the alcohol. Especially how her eyes roamed anything below her lover's hips, not doing anything to hide it. 

She hadn't planned on getting drunk. Hadn't planned on feeling that well-known euphoria she distinctly remembered. For a second, she had wondered why it had been so long. So long since the drinks had been rushed down her throat, leaving her with nothing but relief. Pressure had always been a problem for her. A nauseating feeling left in her stomach as the constant reminders of responsibility engulfed her whole. Being her brother's hero had never made it easier. So when she discovered the extraordinary effects of alcohol, she had had the night of her dreams. At least that was what a stolen bottle of the strong beverage in her hand outside a grocery store felt like back then. The morning after hadn't been very dreamy, though.