but she survived | sae-byeok x ji-yeong

fear straight from the morning

As soon as Sae-byeok woke up she noticed the empty spot next to her. She had gently reached her hand over there, with closed eyes, to feel the comfort of Ji-yeong's warm skin, but that morning, there was nothing but cold air and emptiness. She shot open her eyes, a sick feeling forming in her stomach. Ji-yeong was gone. 

She swiftly sat up, looking around for any kind of trace of the girl. It could be anything. Anything- but there was nothing. Sae-byeok could feel her chest begin to tighten as she ran to the bathroom with the hopes of her being in there. But no. She was nowhere to be found. Sae-byeok caught the image of herself in the cracked mirror. Her chest was heaving up and down, the dark eyes wild and her mouth was slightly open. 

She could feel a sob stuck in her throat, but she didn't have time to cry now. Even though she knew she wasn't gonna be there, she looked in the room again, trying to remain hopeful. Hopeful that she was gonna be lying there on her side of the bed, soundly asleep. That this was just something Sae-byeok imagined. But it wasn't. She sat down on the bed, her head buried in her hands, fingers spread into her tangled hair. She was trying to control her panicked breaths, but also her uncontrollable thoughts. It felt like a million new thoughts popped into her mind every second. But not exactly nice ones. Where had she gone? Had she gotten tired of her already? Had she taken their money with her? Was she gonna have to steal again to survive? Had she risked her life for nothing? Had it all just been an act Ji-yeong had put on to get the money? But no matter how hard she tried to shake these intrusive thoughts off, they were stuck into her mind like a tongue on a frozen pole. 

Without even noticing, a tear had fallen down her cheek. No, two. No, three. But she didn't care. She was alone again. No one could see her cry. So what did it matter if she cried? And with that exact thought, she finally let the sob escape her throat, now able to breathe a bit better. She actually didn't just let it out, though, she sobbed hard. She tugged her legs up to just underneath her chin, holding herself in an embrace as she was used to doing when she was sitting alone on the cold streets in the middle of the night. Allowing herself to cry felt good. The pained cry that she could feel all the way up her throat, the tears that stained her cheeks a red tint. So terribly good.

Out of absolutely nowhere, a small click was heard, coming from the door, and Ji-yeong came in, obviously trying to be quiet as she closed the door. She was so focused on not making any sounds that she didn't even notice the crying girl on the bed. Only when she turned around, her heart dropped at the sight. 

"Sae-byeok, what's wrong?" she asked, dropping the bag she had been holding in her hand, as she with quick steps was standing right in front of Sae-byeok. 

Even though her sight was blurry from the, what seemed like, endless stream of tears, she could easily recognize the girl by her roughly highlighted haircut and the shining piercing located on the side of her nose. In a swift move, she stood up, wrapping her long limbs around the now confused girl in front of her. "Hey," Ji-yeong tried to calm the weeping girl, her hand slowly rubbing her back. "Why are you crying? Has something happened?" 

"Has something happened?" Sae-byeok almost couldn't believe her ears. the girl had chosen to just leave her when she was asleep without even saying one word. What did she honestly think? "Where the fuck have you been?"

Even though she was angry, no, furious at the girl, she couldn't help but still hold onto her tightly, squeezing her head into the crook of her neck. She smelled like the cheap but only body wash the hotel had to offer, but at the moment it was nothing but pure comfort to Sae-byeok. 

"Didn't you read my note?" Ji-yeong had moved her hand so it combing through the taller girl's hair, careful to not get her fingers stuck in one of the many knots.