Elysium | DNF

Chapter 1: Constellations

"She passed this morning."

It came out in a single hushed breath. He stood by the door fiddling with the zipper of his jacket and chewing on the inside of his mouth, hardly understanding the words coming out of his own mouth.

"Dream..." His throat tightened. Phil's words made him glance up.

It took one sympathetic look for Dream's vision to blur and the tears to start spilling. Phil moved toward him with his arms extended. Dream stayed rooted to his spot as the man's arms enveloped him. "I'm so sorry."

Dream choked on the sob that replaced the words edging on the tip of his tongue.

It's not fair.

Patting his back gently, Phil said, "Don't blame yourself. We did everything we could."

As he swallowed the lump on his throat, Dream pulled back and stared at Phil in the eyes—a blazing fire burning through him in place of the heaviness weighing on his chest. "She was seven, Phil."

The words she was the youngest went unsaid. Phil sighed heavy enough that Dream could tell he was holding back his own grief to not upset him further.

"Take the week off, Dream."

At that, Dream's eyes narrowed and just as he was about to protest, Phil's next sentence came out firmer than the previous. "Techno and Fundy can take care of the deliveries for now. You need to get some rest. You've been overworking yourself, mate."

"'m fine," Dream grumbled through his teeth.

Phil kept a stern stare on him for a second longer before retreating to his desk. "Rest. That's an order. Not a suggestion."

He ended up on the ceiling of their run-down tech shop later that night, hugging his right knee as he overlooked the veil of black in the sky and sparkling lights across the city, trying not to think about the children he had met during the last months of their lives. Trying not to think of how normal it had become.

Behind him, the door creaked open and an unusually quiet stride approached him. His best friend slumped down beside him. His comforting presence spoke louder than the usual ramblings he started their rooftop conversations with. They enjoyed the night breeze and quiet rumble of the cars from the highway a few miles away.

After a moment, Sapnap scooted close enough that their arms were pressed against each other and rested his head on Dream's shoulder. His lulling heartbeat resonated against his skin. It was nice.

"Phil told me about Julie," he said. "I'm sorry."

It took Dream some time to answer, but when he did, he replied with, "Her birthday was last week. She was so excited about the stuffed bear her mom gave her." He chuckled and shook his head. "Mr. Whiskers. She told me she couldn't wait to go to the park again to show him the dandelion field by the playground."

Sapnap didn't say anything, but the way his breath hitched and his heart rate increased was the only answer Dream needed to hear.

"She was bed-ridden, Sap. She had been for almost half a year now, and she was only getting sicker. But she was still hoping to go outside again—" his voice cracked. He closed his eyes. Desperate tears stuck to his eyelashes. "She never got a chance to."

"I know, Dream. It hurts me too but... we did everything we could."

"Yet we've still lost over dozens of people to this fucked up disease." He clenched his fists and said, "And the news only likes to focus on the hundreds dead or how this disease is going to kill us in a century if we don't find a cure. They don't care about all the people we've watched die. They don't care about all those children and teens and families. They don't care about Julie."