A Sleepy Girl-Sleepybois au

Chapter 4

"Dinner is ready!" Phil yells, and I feel my stomach drop. Didn't we just get food? Or did the tour take forever? I see Wil look at me and then holds out his hand. I hesitantly grab it and walk downstairs. My stomach is turning and the voices are yelling at me. You have had one meal today, you aren't supposed to eat. Fatty. I grunt trying to get the voices to stop and Wil looks at me, "You alright?" 

I get nervous and accidentally respond, "Yeah I just feel bad because I don't want to say I am not hungry again, but I had a lot of food this morning." 

"It's alright, I bet Phil won't mind but I'll tell him." 

"Thank you Wil, it means a lot." 

"It's no problem." he smiles at me and I smile right back at him. I hate lying to good people, but I am not comfortable with telling him, or anyone about me not eating. 

We arrive at the table and Techno is already there because he helped Phil set up. Then, Tommy comes running downstairs, "Sorry had to wrap up things with Toby." 

"Your all good Toms, I have some toasted ham and cheese sandwiches, I also have Turkey, does that sound good?" We all nod, "Okay can someone help me grab the plates?" 

"Sure thing dad," Wil says and then looks at me and nods. They each come out holding a few paper plates that have 3 small sandwiches on them each.

"Have as much as you want, these three have turkey, these three have ham and cheese," I see Tommy immediately go for the Turkey and Wil go for a ham and cheese.

I am seated next to Techno, Wil is across from me next to Phil, and Tommy is seated at the head of the table.

"Hey which do you want?" Techno whispers at me. Then I see Phil take a Turkey plate and slide it towards him. "Well, I was gonna make sure I didn't take the last of what you wanted but there are two of what I want left."

I giggle and then respond, "You've got good taste," He looks at me and shakes his head laughing, sliding me and himself a plate of ham and cheese. I take a bite and it tastes really good, but the feeling of food in my mouth makes me uncomfortable and I quickly chew and swallow. Then I take a sip of water and I slowly take another bite. Techno keeps looking at me and I don't know why. Does he already know? How? This is the second meal I have had with them. Did I screw it all up? I look down and my atrocious body and realize why he is staring at me. He knows I eat too much. Oh god. I'm so fat. Sucking in my stomach I continue the meal, finishing one sandwich and asking, "May I be excused?" Phil nods and I walk upstairs straight to the bathroom.

I shut the door, lock it and then hang my head over the toilet. I throw up everything I just ate and then more. I stick my hand down my throat to keep me gagging the food back up. I forcefully make myself puke over and over again so I am dry heaving. Making sure I can be as skinny as possible. I am throwing up for about 10 minutes until I hear a knock on the door. "You alright in there?" I hear a monotone voice say. Shit, shit, shit. I flush the toilet and respond with a quick yes and wash my hands and splash cold water on my face. I dry off and then unlock the door with a worried Techno looking at me, "You okay?" he says sympathetically. 

"Yeah I just had to go to the bathroom, sorry, you can use it now," I quickly turn into my room and leave Techno standing there. I lay on my bed and then realize I don't have any of my things. I then realize I left them in Phil's car and go downstairs. I see Phil washing the dishes with Tommy and Wil on the couch playing games on his phone, "Um, Phil?" I say and he turns his head around. 

"Yeah?" 

"I think I left my bag in your car. Can I get it?" 

"Yeah, I realized you didn't walk in with it. I was going to give it to you at dinner but I forgot. It's hanging on the door." I look around and then see it hanging on the back door.

"Thank you!" I say with a fake smile asI walk over and grab the bag. 

"No problem. And by the way, I was going to take you and the boys shopping tomorrow. You could get some stuff for your room, some clothes, your bag was pretty light, so we can get whatever." 

"Okay, yeah, Wilbur mentioned it earlier," I see Wil's head perk up from hearing his name.

"Taking after Techno I see," Phil says to Wil.

"Okay well I showed her around and I told her we would go shopping to make her room more personalized," Wil defensively stated.

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine," Phil says looking back at me. I smile and then go back up to my room and set my bag down. I grab my shirts and put them in a drawer, then one for my sweatshirts, then bras and underwear, then pants. There is one gray basket sitting on top of it and I decide to put my 3 pairs of socks in there. I then pull out my stuffed animal. It's a small green dinosaur with three hearts on its stomach. One red, purple, and pink. It also has a small smile. I give it a big hug and then set it on my bed. Staring at it remember the brief days I got to spend with my only foster home friend. 

"Hey y/n?"

"Yeah, what do you need Eryn?"

"I hate remembering my awful parents. I want to forget them. This dinosaur always reminds me of them, can you take it?"

"Of course Eryn. I'll use it to remember you if we get split up."

"Yeah, that's a better thing to remember it by." He says wiping the tears on his face and I give him a big hug.

I feel a tear bring me back into my life and I quickly rub it off my face and go back to my bag. As I open it and see all my fidget cube. I grab it and set it on my dresser. Finally, I get to the last thing in my bag. My blade. I stare at it and then hide it underneath my bra. No boy would look through a girl's bra drawer, especially one that wants to be named my dad or my brother. Then, I shut the drawer and hear the music starting to be played. I jump on my bed and lean my head against the wall connecting my room to Wil's. "Life isn't quite what I thought I'd be when I was a kid on VoIP, I thought when I get older," I hear the soft guitar sounds and Wil's magical singing voice as my eyes shut and I fall asleep.

Word count: 1188