Best friend | Lizrei

Chapter 4 - I'm sorry

A/n: I forgot to mention that Liz still has her black hair in this. Also this chapter is longer.

Liz

"I'm just saying Liz, give her a chance to explain at least. You don't have much time to argue with me so just do it okay?"

I cleaned up the tray and stacked the empty bowls so it wasn't so messy.

"What do you mean not much time left-"

"Hi"

The speed of my heart began to quicken as we locked eyes. Why is she here? My day was just beginning to get better but no, she had to come back and ruin it.

"That's my cue to leave" I saw Yujin-unnie widen her eyes as she pushed the chair in the table.

My eyes went back to Rei who was still looking at me. "I should too-"

"No, you're staying" Yujin-unnie pointed her finger at me, motioning me to sit down and so I did. I can't go against her words.

"Be open minded, don't lash out at each other" she waved bye but I couldn't get my head to wrap around what was happening.

"Hey.." She down trying to catch my eyes, but I didn't, I couldn't. I couldn't look her directly in her eyes without feeling the need to break down.

The awkwardness was louder than the people around us. My heartbeat became faster than I thought was possible. I fiddled with my finger, feeling uneasy and like I was going to throw up. Her hand landed on mine, I know she was trying to calm me down but that was it, that's when I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Rei

She broke down as soon as I tried to comfort her. I took my hand away and stood up, getting closer to her. I pulled her closer and hugged her. Her attempts of pushing me away was weak and she sobbed harder. But she kept trying. And I persisted to keep her in my arms. Eventually she stopped and just excepted it.

My own tears fell.

❁

I took her to a nearby park so that we were away from the crowd of people. Lucky, it was only us there, no children, no teens, no adults, just us.

We sat on the swings, in an awkward silence that felt like an eternity. Words that I've practiced over and over again didn't come out. I glanced at her and saw how uncomfortable she was.

If I could just leave her alone then she wouldn't feel these things. If I could just move on like she was trying, then maybe we wouldn't have to be in each other's lives anymore.

"Are you okay now?" That was a dumb question, of course she's not.

Jiwon didn't answer. Jiwon.

"Jiwon?" I asked as gentle as I could.

"Jiwon?" She scoffed, finally looking at me. I couldn't see her anymore, just emptiness and tiredness.

"Don't call be by that name" She said sternly. I've never seen her like this. She was bawling her eyes out only minutes ago. "What happened to calling me Liz? You made such a be deal about how you're the only who can call me Liz and now you're the only one who doesn't"

"I'm sorry"

"And you think saying 'sorry' is going to fix everything between us? You think that it'll fix the way I see myself? Fix the way I feel about myself?" Her voice broke in between her sentences.

I messed up more than I thought.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away every time. I'm sorry for thinking I was protecting you. I'm sorry for thinking I wasn't good for you. Before we got close, I saw how much you struggled to make friends. You were shy and hesitant. When I got to know you better, you started to depend on me. You would only socialise when I was there. I thought that introducing you to other people would help you open up and trust others. You did but you still depended on me. I thought leaving you would help you out in the real world. You couldn't even order your food by yourself when we went out to eat. I couldn't live with myself knowing that you can't talk for yourself. I was afraid that one day I won't be there for you and you wouldn't be able to do anything for yourself. The idea pf leaving you was painful but I thought that it would give you a sense of responsibility. But I broke you instead" She had stopped looking at me long before I said my apology.

I sat on my knees in front of her. She turned her head away. "Jiwon-ah.. Liz look at me" and she did.

I pulled her to stand up and she did. I wrapped my arms over her shoulders and hugged her tight. Waiting and waiting, she finally hugged me back.

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