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Hi, gusto ko rin mag-share ng story ko. This sounds may be INSANE and unbelievable but... Still, I'll share it.
I was the eldest child in our family. As the eldest, palagi akong sinasabihan ng mga magulang ko na dapat ako 'yung "ROLE MODEL" sa mga nakababata kong kapatid. They also tend to compare me to other kids, or to my other relatives around my age. I know they didn't mean to hurt or underestimate me, gusto lang talaga nila akong mag-improve. At dahil d'on, naging COMPETITIVE ako. Hindi sa pagmamayabang pero... I was in First Section and a Top student in school, may mga naging admirers din ako, ako ang pambato when it comes to Editorial Cartooning in our Journalism Club, I was also a Libero in our volleyball team. You see... I was one of those students na may magandang reputasyon sa eskwelahan. Sa paningin ng marami, napakabuti kong estudyante... Or moreover... Isang napakabuting TAO.
But apart from medals and certificates I received in school, I have this CURIOSITY. Hindi sapat ang achievements ko para makuntento ako. I have this HUNGER for the "Absolute Truth." Ano ang katotohanan? Curious ako sa Science and Conspiracies, curious ako sa mga bagay na misteryoso at mahirap i-explain.
Funny, 'cause this "CURIOSITY" that I had for the "ABSOLUTE TRUTH" ignited when I encountered these two quotes from both detective stories. First quote was from Shinichi Kudo of Detective Conan episode one;
"There's only ONE truth."
The second quote was written by Arthur Conan Doyle from The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes;
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains however improbable must be the TRUTH."
And so, these quotes fueled my curiosity even more! I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH!
Due to that, I tried to STUDY and READ some complex books and sites in internet. May dalawa akong option na pwedeng paniwalaan; A... The ABSOLUTE TRUTH is God... Or B... The ABSOLUTE TRUTH is Science. I used to believe it was God. I mean, I am a Christian Catholic, so... I thought it was Him. The ABSOLUTE TRUTH is God. Pero dahil maraming RELIGION sa mundo, napilitan akong i-study ang ibang religions. Some people say, iisa lang ang God sa lahat ng religion, pero iba-iba lang ang pangalan Niya. But they were WRONG. When I studied other religions, all of their god/s, especially between Islam and Christianity and Buddhism and Hinduism and Roman (Greek) goddess and gods... ALL OF THEM ARE DIFFERENT GOD/S.
So, I thought, if they have different god/s... Perhaps, hindi si God ang ABSOLUTE TRUTH. Because TRUTH supposed to only be "ONE," if there are MANY contradicting TRUTHS, then that's not truth at all. It's either they are all LIES and one of them is the truth... Or simply, they are all LIES. And it doesn't make sense!
So, I transferred my FAITH to SCIENCE. Yes. I became a lowkey atheist (secretly). I became fascinated to Quantum Physics and Cosmology and some details about Big Bang Theory and Singularity. I studied it and became a BELIEVER that our Creator is NOT GOD, but only the UNIVERSE itself, filled with unconscious body of galaxies and atomic materials. Kahit pa nagsisimba ako, dahil pinipilit ako ng mga magulang ko, wala akong tiwala sa pinagsasasabi ng pari o pastor sa unahan. Madalas, tinutulugan ko ang misa at may mga time na pinagtatawanan pa namin ng mga kaibigan ko ang Diyos ng mga Kristiyano. That's how HORRIBLE I was.
