Hahahaha
Hello.
😝
• • •
Y/n - Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
Albedo - Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak
• • •
Y/n - Okay, help me please!
Albedo - Got two words for you.
Y/n - I bet they won't be helpful.
Albedo - Your,
Albedo - problem.
Y/n - I was right
• • •
Y/n - I prevented a murder today.
Albedo - Really? How'd you do that?
Y/n - self control.
• • •
Store Worker - Would a Mr. Albedo please come to the front desk?
Albedo, arriving at the desk - Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker, points to Y/n and Klee
Store Worker - I believe they belong to you?
Y/n and Klee, simultaneously - We got lost :(
Albedo - I didn't even bring you guys here with me-
• • •
Jean - Listen, I can explain...
Albedo - You're making $500,000 and you're only gonna pay me $30,000?
Klee - You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting $1,000!
Aether - You guys are getting paid?
• • •
Y/n - You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Albedo - Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Y/n - I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING KLEE WITH ME
Aether, picking up the monopoly board - I think we're gonna stop playing now.
• • •
Y/n - *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Albedo - I personally was created in a lab.
Aether - I just straight up spawned lol.
Y/n - well fuck you too
• • •
Albedo - Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Y/n - You and me!!!
Albedo, tearing up - Okay.
• • •
Y/n - I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Albedo - You're like, I don't know, 17 years old?
Y/n - I MIGHT DIE AT 30!
• • •
Y/n - What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Albedo - Go the fuck to sleep
Y/n - What gif I don't want to?
Albedo - Fuck You
• • •
Y/n: Kaeya and I have the kind of easy friendship chemistry where we finish each other's-
Kaeya: Sentences.
Y/n: Don't interrupt me.
• • •
Y/n and Albedo skipping stones on lake
Albedo - It's such a beautiful evening.
Y/n, whispering - Take that you fucking stupid body of water
• • •
Jean - Okay, truth or dare?
Albedo: Truth
Jean - How many hours have you slept this week?
Albedo -
Albedo - ...Dare
Jean - Go to bed.
Albedo - I don't like this game.
• • •
Klee - Am I in trouble?
Albedo - Take a guess.
Klee - No?
Albedo - Take another guess.
• • •
Y/n - Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Lisa - Okay.
Y/n - And make out during the scary parts.
Lisa - Th-
Lisa - The scary parts..
Lisa - Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
• • •
Aether - Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Albedo - I'm a knife.
Y/n, from across the room - He's the little spoon.
• • •
Y/n and Aether sitting in jail together
Aether - So who should we call?
Y/n - I'd call Jean, but I feel safer in jail
• • •
Y/n - If Aether and I were drowning, who would you save?
Albedo - You two can't swim?
Aether - It's a hypothetical question, Albedo! who would you save?
Albedo - my time and effort.
• • •
Y/n - What if you press the brake and gas at the same time?Aether - The car takes a screenshot.
Albedo, trying to paralel park - For the last time, get the fuck out.
• • •
Y/n - HELP! I TOLD ALBEDO I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Aether, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag - And... you thought I could help?
• • •
Y/n - Albedo and I don't use pet names.
Jean - I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Y/n - Honey?
Albedo, calling from the kitchen - Yes, dear?
Y/n -
Jean - Don't ever lie to my face again.
• • •
Albedo, holding a python - Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Aether: You did WHAT-
Albedo: William Snakepeare or Dave?
• • •
Y/n - Albedo and I are having a baby.
Klee - Yay!
Y/n, slamming adoption papers on the table - It's you, sign here
• • •
Jean - What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Lisa - Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Klee - Smad :(
• • •
IM WORKING ON TWO BOOKS THAT SHOULD BE RELEASED SOON ENOUGH! WHEN I PUBLISH THEM, I WOULD BE GREATFUL IF YOU COULD CHECK IT OUT
;;)))
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ONESHOT ALBEDO BOOK X FEM!READER
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