Remember me...

10. Who is he to you?

Zhan was preparing a hotpot when his doorbell rang. Thinking it was Yubin, Zhan licked his fingers and opened the door with a smile on his face but that smile vanished when he saw Wang Yibo standing on his threshold. "What are you doing here?", he asked warily and Yibo shot him a cold look before inviting himself in. "It's rude to enter a house uninvited", he said to Yibo's back and the man ignored his words making his way to the dining table and taking a whiff of Zhan's dinner. Zhan wanted to say something, ask Yibo to leave but the scene before him was so familiar he was tongue-tied. Hadn't it been this way three years ago? Yibo would come to his house, kiss him breathless by the door and the two of them ate dinner together. Zhan missed those days and it was hard to be around Yibo this way. He wanted to hate Yibo. He really did but Zhan couldn't. Yibo had been so good to him and judging Yibo for the things he had done at the end at his uncle's orders was something Zhan couldn't do. The anger, the frustration, the fear...Zhan was past all of it. All that was left was emptiness. Now, everyday was a reminder of what Zhan had in the past and what he would never have again.

Zhan saw Yibo eye the hotpot curiously and bit his lips. Yibo was seeing two entirely different kinds of broths, one spicy and one mild and he raised an eye brow as if asking Zhan why. One was his and the other Yibo's favorite. Zhan never touched the mild side because he liked spice and it was Yibo's portion. Yibo was not good at handling spice and the first time they had a hotpot together, Yibo had stared at him wide eyed as if Zhan had grown two heads. A couple of weeks later, Yibo had grown used to it and occasionally, had even tried it. Even after things ended, Zhan's hands automatically picked up the mild flavored broths at the stores and it was a habit he had tried to break but had never succeeded. "It's late, Yibo. You shouldn't be here." The words were ignored again and Zhan walked to Yibo, pulling the extra pair of chopsticks from Yibo's hand. The man just stared at him blankly and Zhan pushed Yibo but the mountain of a man refused to budge. Yibo took Zhan's chopsticks instead and began eating, groaning appreciatively at the food. "Why are you being so difficult? Leave, Yibo. Leave before I call Kuan-ge." Zhan was exasperated and at end of his wits to deal with Yibo. He wanted Yibo to leave just as much as he wanted him to say. He had become a walking contradiction and all he could think of was being alone.

The chopsticks were slammed hard on the table at his words and Zhan jumped when Yibo's arms suddenly banded around his waist. Their bodies were flushed together and Zhan struggled in Yibo's hold. "What are you doing, Yibo? Let me go!" Zhan squirmed in the man's grip but froze as a hand made it's way to his head, fisting his hair."Don't take his name when I am with you. I don't like it." The threat had Zhan stiffening and Yibo stared at him so intensely, Zhan couldn't meet his eyes. "I will ask you a few questions and you will answer me truthfully. Lie to me and I will not leave. Clear?" The harsh hold on his head and the cold voice had Zhan's eyes watering while the arm around his waist tightened to the verge of causing pain. Zhan swallowed hard and nodded wordlessly finding himself in a completely foreign territory. Yibo had never manhandled him this way...ever. Zhan found himself staring in those dark eyes and his hands moved to Yibo's arms trying to get them off him. "I will answer you. Please, just let go." He said softly feeling shame rip through him. As the arms around him fell away, Zhan moved swiftly to sit across Yibo hiding his lower body from Yibo's eyes. What the hell was wrong with him? It wasn't surprising that Zhan's body was reacting to Yibo's. It had always been this way. A single look and Zhan burned for Yibo. What surprised him was the force of lust that slammed into him right now. Zhan was used to Yibo's gentle touches not this...aggression.

"Wang Haikuan. Who is he to you?" Yibo fired the first question and Zhan hesitated. Yibo hadn't come all the way here just to ask this, had he? "He is like an elder brother to me", Zhan answered honestly and the way Yibo eased a little into his chair at his answer went unnoticed by him. "Have we met before?", Yibo asked straight away and Zhan tried his best to keep his face even. He had to tread carefully with Yibo. "We have. A-Cheng and Kuan-ge are friends. You and me met sometimes at parties or something." "Why did you lie to me then? Why not simply say that we knew each other?", came the next question and this time Zhan was silent. 'Because I can't be in your life anymore. I need to be free. Loving you hurts too much.' Zhan couldn't say this. No matter how much he wanted to. "Kuan-ge told me about your condition. You and me weren't close so, it wasn't worth mentioning." The lie fell off Zhan's lips smoothly and he put a piece of meat in his mouth, chewing slowly. This was for the best. The only way by which Zhan could keep everything in check. He would just say that him and Yibo were nothing to each other and things could go back to normal. Haikuan had told Zhan to keep Yibo at bay. Not to mention anything from the past. It was best for everyone. Unfortunately, Zhan had no idea how he had become entangled in the games of Wang brothers.

Disappointment. That's what Yibo felt at Xiao Zhan's answer. Did this man really think Yibo was a fool? Even after a clear warning Xiao Zhan had the guts to lie to him to his face. They weren't close. Yibo would've believed those words if every cell in his body didn't scream with want when he saw Xiao Zhan. The way he was drawn to Zhan...it couldn't be nothing. He knew they had a connection in the past. They had some history together, he was sure of it and the absurd situation was truly laughable. A man who had lost all of his memories was claiming to know the truth. But, Yibo knew he couldn't be wrong. Zhan couldn't just be a passing acquaintance to him. If he was then Yibo wanted to kick his own ass. How could any hot blooded man see something so beautiful and not burn with desire? Yibo honestly thought that prior to his attack he was a coward. A coward for not voicing the things he needed and not taking what he wanted. The words kind, compassionate, patient were used to describe him and Yibo felt it was just a facade. He felt nothing of that sorts anymore. "Why are you in Beijing now?", he asked with much more anger in his tone than he wanted and just like that Zhan froze again. It was a sight Yibo had come to resent. He didn't like that Zhan got uncomfortable in his presence and stiffened with the mere sight of him. It would change. Yibo had every intention of spending every minute of the day with Zhan if that's what it took for him to relax around him. "I came to see my family and Kuan-ge."  A look at Yibo and Zhan realised he had said something wrong. The way Yibo's eyes blazed in anger at his words was a clear sign. "I haven't been here for a while. My sister and brother wanted to see me." Zhan rephrased his answer but tension didn't leave Yibo's body as he had expected. "Have you ever walked away from me, Xiao Zhan?" The question had Zhan's eyes widening and Yibo's calculative gaze caught the fear shining in those eyes. This is what had Yibo confused. Xiao Zhan denied knowing him but still reacted in ways that made Yibo think that this man knew him on a deeper level. Now as Zhan appeared rattled to his core, Yibo questioned himself if he had hurt Zhan in the past. Had he? Was that why Zhan refused to say anything?

"Answer me, Zhan-Zhan. Have you ever walked away from me?", he pressed again and this time a blank look came on Zhan face as he stood up. "I have no idea what you are talking about. I don't know you, Wang Yibo. I have entertained you all this while because I can somewhat understand this is difficult for you. It can't be easy to wake up one day and realising how meaningless and insignificant everything has become. Even worse when everyone around you keeps pointing at how much something means to you while you can barely understand it. I am sorry this happened to you but please, you are looking at the wrong place for answers, Yibo. I was never someone important to you. So please, just leave."  The words were spoken sternly, without a trace of emotion and Yibo felt a hollow laugh escape him. "For someone who says he doesn't know me you sure are perceptive. How will you understand anything remotely related to me, Xiao Zhan? Oh..maybe Haikuan has talked to you about me. Is that what you people bonded on? Poor Yibo has gone crazy and is not being himself. Are you giving him advises to handle me now? Is that why all of a sudden he isn't hovering around me and treating me differently?" Yibo walked across the table to Xiao Zhan and licked his lips as he saw Zhan backing away towards the table to escape him. The tension between them was palpable and Yibo had no intention of ignoring whatever was between them. His hands caged Zhan from both sides to the table and on a closer look Yibo saw how flushed Zhan skin was, how faint tremors were running through his body and how the man was breathing heavier. It wasn't just him. He affected Zhan too. Yibo leaned in and put his head on Zhan's shoulder feeling a calm wash over him as their bodies came in contact. "No one understands, Zhan-Zhan. No one. You all think you do but you don't. There is so much anger in me. Such blinding anger. Someone betrayed me. Someone made me this way. I don't remember anything around me, I don't even remember myself and it's making me crazy." The words were faint and Yibo stilled as he heard his own voice. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. His walls were impenetrable buy somehow Zhan had managed to wiggle through the cracks. Yibo had let his guard down yet again. He wondered if the man before him heard his words and the confirmation came when he felt hands around his waist. Slowly and gently, Yibo was embraced and his own arms tightened around Zhan as he closed his eyes, finding peace in that moment.