Part 18.

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PUBLISHED DEC 30, 2021

EDITED JAN 8, 2023

I've loved being on this trip even though we haven't really done anything since the fair which was more then two weeks. And as much as I am loving it here, I had things that I needed to go home and do. 

I was just sat at the floor of the couch with Sirius sitting in my lap and just watching the TV. I must have been zoned out which I didn't realize until I heard my name being called. When I snapped out of my thoughts I saw Clay standing in front me trying to get my attention.

"Whatcha doing kiddo?" He asked me and I looked up at him. I was really tired from staying up the previous night playing video games with Tommy and Jordan, so I wasn't really in the mood for fake emotions which Clay obviously noticed. 
"Just thinking." It obviously wasn't the answer that he wanted from me, so he sat down on the ground next to me and called Sirius over to start petting him. 

"Thinking about what?" He asked again. I knew that if I ever wanted to get out of this situation then I would have to tell him what was running through my mind.
"I've had so much fun on this trip and I really wish that I could stay longer but-" I couldn't finish what I was saying as someone cut in.

"But, you have priorities. You have a house to look after, school to go to and also your mom. Not to mention your friends, I don't think you've talked to anybody but us since you got here Mads." Nick sat down on the other side of me so that I was in the middle of the two. They always seemed to be the ones that I would talk to other than Tommy and Scott.

"Who said I'm looking forward to seeing my mum? Or that I have other friends?" It came off more rude than it was meant to. I gasped after I realized how rude  that sounded and I just gave them a bit of a sorry look. 
"Then what do you miss about it?" Nick looked me straight in the eyes but I had to look away.

"It's home, it's what I'm used to. I mean it may not be the best life I could have but it's everything that I know. I'm not ready to say goodbye to that yet." I had tears in my eyes and my voice was getting quieter. 

Clay and Nick just comforted me for a few minutes before standing up and looking at me.
"Someone once told me, that home isn't a single place but it's the people you feel the most like yourself with." Nick smiled to me and the two men walked away from me.

What did I really miss about being back in Australia? I missed my room, the comfort of being in my own house, and know I shouldn't but I missed my mum. I mean she was barely in my life but I guess if I do leave then I want to say goodbye to her properly.

I was so busy talking to myself in my head that I had no idea someone else heard the conversation and had now sat down next to me.
"Do you really want to leave Maddy?" Toby asked me with sadness spread all over his face and I just turned to look at him. 

Tears were falling down my face and my breathing was heavy.
"I want to be able to say goodbye to everything properly first. I mean yeah my mum has barely been in my life but I gotta say bye first y'know? Hell even if I do, where would I go? I have no family here and I don't want to ask anybody to stay with them. Not when I'm only 15 and still have such a long time until I know what I want to do with my life." 

"Toby please help me. I don't know what to do." Little did I know that while I was talking to Toby, Tommy was listening to everything. I don't think he meant to but it happened, and he didn't like what he was hearing.

Tommy's POV

Hearing Maddy say that she wanted to go home hurt I will admit, but hearing the rest of it was worse. I needed to talk to someone about this, I mean Maddy is one my best friends now and I don't want her hurt. 

I walked up the stairs and towards the room that Scott was staying in.
"Hey Scott, are you in here?" I asked and I heard him reply with a yeah so I walked in and closed the door. I went and sat on his bed and everything was silent for a little while until I decided I should tell him.

"Scott, I overheard Maddy and Toby talking, and I didn't mean to eavesdrop because I know that it's a bad thing to do but I couldn't help it." I was now talking much faster then I intended to. 
"Tommy calm down. I want you to take some deep breathes and then finish what you were saying."

Scott calmed me down and walked over to sit next to me.
"Maddy said that she wanted to go home, go back to Australia and say goodbye to everything properly. But then she said that she wanted to come back here and like be here with everyone but she can't because she has nowhere to go."

I know that this should be something she would be telling Scott but I had to. I couldn't just keep this to myself, I mean, it was all so much new information and I would probably just blurt everything out in front of everybody. I needed to make sure that she gets what she needed. Yes I wanted Maddy to stay with us forever because it's been so fun with her here but it would be better for her to be happy instead. 

"I felt like you needed to know this. I'm not sure why but if Maddy is going home then I feel like she will want to soon. I mean she misses things from there." I was getting emotional over this stuff. I shouldn't but I couldn't help myself.

I couldn't handle talking about it any longer and so I just walked out of Scotts room before I could hear him give me an answer. Just as I was walking out of the bedroom I saw Maddy walking up the stairs and about to go into the exact room that I just walked out of. 

My guess is that she is about to talk to Scott about the exact thing that I simply just told him. Maybe she is leaving soon? Why do I feel so much sadder then I should be? I have to ignore this empty feeling that is now lingering in my stomach and go downstairs and act like none of this makes me upset. 

Good thing I'm used to putting on an act, right?


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