What If It Had Been..- TXT's sixth member

2

TW:Death is mentioned multiple times throughout the story, along with other descriptions.

"Masura! Get up now- i refuse to be late because of you." a voice penetrated my sleep. A dreamless sleep. Thankfully.
I opened my eyes, blurry. I felt sick with dread.
And didn't help that her poisonous voice still rattled me a bit. A voice so sharp, im surprised I'm not bleeding to death. I glanced down at the gauss covering the wound on my shoulder.
To soom to be saying shit like that.

I sat up, rubbing my eye's, ridding them off blurriness. They yearned for more sleep. A groan left my lip's when I remembered what my day help.

A day I had hoped would never come.
A day that i hoped for her, i would be standing next to him, age the only thing scarring me.
A day, that for him, i hoped i would never see.

"I said get up! Do not go back to bed or i will leave without you!" She yelled again, making her way past my open room, a her shuffles graceful, but purposeful.

Looking over at the clock, I sighed, standing up and making my way to the bathroom.
Heavy... I feel...heavy.
Like I've been crying. But i know i haven't. All night long i had tried to force them out of my eyes, but nothing. I reached the mirror, gripping at the sink, trying to not think about the day ahead. Not not think about her to not think about about...anything.

Just to stop all thoughts completely. If i could stem the flow of thoughts that flooded my brain i would.  shaking my head at the reflection before me, that drifted in and out of focus.

Dark grey sack's lay below both of my eye's. My dark hair stood tall and untamed on my head, covering my greying eyes.

I took a showed, scrubbing manically. Maybe it i do it hard enough, all signs of my clear mental turmoil would disappear.

After, i staggered back into my room, feeling the cold bite at my skin. There on my bed lay a suit, tag still on, paper still in its pockets. Of course laid out by her. Black, the appropriate colour to wear for a funeral. I could smell her perfume, but less overbearing, so it softly clug to the suit.
This made me start to feel like this was the first time she was nice to me.
I shook my head. Of course Im looking to depend on someone.

As i was about to get changed until I remember the door was still wide open. I quickly made my way over closing the door and remembering to lock it. I know that women has no boundaries.

I get dressed remembering to do my hair, or she'd probably throw a fit a slap me or something. I know her punishments arnt limited if shes related to him.

I grab my phone, placing it in my pocket, looking at the mirror in front of me once more just to make sure nothing is out of place.

"Masura! Hurry up and get down here! Im leaving!" She yelled, making me jump slightly.
Not once had she faced me today.

"Alright-" I yell, but in the politest way, as not to offend her.

-

"car. now!" She snapped, avoiding my eye as she pointed to the back seat.

She's starting to get on my nerves.

The drive there was only 20 minutes but it could of been hours. The tension in the air that neither of us intended breaking, was suffocating. I looked out of the window, laying my head back. It was aching again and my mind was completely fogged.

Finally, after an emotionally taxing car ride, we were here. It was quiet. Like being in the deepest countryside. Peaceful almost.

"For them" i murmured as we entered the building. A sense of foreboding crawling up my neck. I had never been here before and i never thought i would come here at this age.

She left me standing at the shoe rack, while i stood awkwardly inspecting each pair that sat closely knitted together.

In the distance I saw her talking to someone, before she turned around and gestured me to follow her as she followed the middle aged man she was just talking to.

There was a lot of twists and turns in the dark building but they finally led to a more lit up hall.

This is were they were.

The tall skinny man whispered something into her ear, before scurrying back down the hall way.

"Well, go in now." She said nodding towards the door. Her voice usually soft. Maybe she thought the spirit of my mum would arise and throttle her. Mum always hated it when people used harsh tones. Me and my brother were forced to fight in whispers while pinching each other under the table. Something twitched in my eye at the memory.

I nodded back quickly before hastily entering the room, leaving the door open as she walking in behind me.

I felt my heart shatter into small pieces if that's even possible at this point.

There laid there lifeless body's in the casket's. For some reason in coming here, I had some how convinced my self that this would all be a sick prank. Everything that had happened at court. Everything that had happened that night. It would all be over and they would both run over to me and hug me and we would go home and live our lives.

Lives.

How could their be people in the world celebrating, how could there be people be in joy, was unfathomable.

But there laid there pale bodys.

Right in front of me.

Both of there eye's closed, giving of the illusion that they might just be sleeping. But i knew. Everyone knew.

I first made my way to first casket. As I looked down at her I noticed there lousy attempts to cover the stitches. The patchy makeup. And the oddly synthetic look of her hair. He smile lines covered with a powder.
Finally, the seal that had been set on my eyes had burst and now they burned, the warm feeling trickled down my cheek's. Some what comforting as this was the only constant feeling. That was guilt.

I dug around in the blazer pocket pulling out a few fake Lilies, placing them in her hands. smiling slightly.

the memory of really picking lilies for her when I was younger flashed vividly in my minds eye. I sniffed slightly.

My heart again, broke as i moved to the next casket. I noticed how much smaller this one is to mothers. How wrong that was. How wrong that there are caskets made this small.

But there he laid. Just like my mother. He donned a suit, much like my own. I smiled.
"matching" i could hear him say, feel him tug my sleeve, envision his excited toothy grin. Another set of tears fell, soon turning into a stream.

I sniffed again as I once more reached into my pocket pulling out a few small Awadama sweet's placing them in his hands. I avoided touching his skin. I chuckled again at the memory of his buying these and leaving the rapper in him room. This would always anger me but now, I think I'm going to miss it.

I sighed once more, dabbing at my eye's with the cuff of the blazer, moving back to look at them both.

"Take a long hard look. Because just remember this is going to be the last time you see them again." She hissed into my ear.

I frowned to my self. The anger in me was rising.
An anger, little did i know, would take years to vacate my body.
"Let's go." She said walking to the door.

"Love you-" I whispered wiping my eye's again, before turning around and making my way to the door.

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Thank you so much to @happinessnoise for helping me edit all of these chapters along with this one.