What If It Had Been..- TXT's sixth member

17

"It's getting better. We need to get this down by the end of this week." She was finally giving out more constructive criticism.

We all nodded trying to catch our breathes. Despite her actually doing her job, we still have to cope with her awful personality. On top of that she seems to think we are horses. I can't dance for forty five minutes straight with no drink and a minute in between each song. It was no longer just Can't You See Me, it was the whole album we were practicing for.

"I'll take my leave now. I'll see you tomorrow and by then we should have this all down!" She grabbed her bag and phone, strutting out of the door, slamming it behind her.

"We need to.. get home, and... get clean so we can go to record." Yeonjun spoke trying to catch his breath.

I must have asthma or something. My lungs feel like there slowly collapsing, almost like all those time's the memories flooded my brain, except I hadn't had a mental breakdown for a good four days. Surely that's a new record for me.

I grabbed my water bottle, spinning the lid off of it wich was a struggle in it's self as I felt like I had no strength in my muscles. Although, that was probally my fault as I hadent eaten since yesterday. I'm not extremely fond of breakfast, it normally make's me feel sick but today I felt sick because I haden't eaten anything.

I lifted the bottle to my mouth, also watching Beomgyu approach me with a smirk in his face, while holding his water bottle in one hand. I was laying down so the bottle was prominantly sticking up in the air. I'm not quite sure how I haven't choked yet or atleast spilt it all over to me.

Yeonjun had clearly picked up on this while sitting with Beomgyu in the corner because he had sent him over.

He continued to walk over, stepping over me. Not normally though, he decided to step over my head, kicking the bottle from my hand causing it to spill all over me. I sat up, choking on the water as it quickly soaked my shirt a jogger's.

"Yah! Beomgyu! What's wrong with you?!" Soobin stood up running after Beomgyu pulling him out of the door by his ear.

Kai came over to me, making sure I was ok before also leaving the room to go and get tissues. Taehyun sat on the bench looking at me with a sympathetic smile, turning to Yeonjun as he ran ever to him laughing. Taehyun had promised to stop bullying me on the night he made me go out to eat with him. He said that he couldn't stop Yeonjun and Beomgyu from doing what they did but he would certainly stop his involvement. Better then nothing I guess.

I laid back down in the small puddle of water, letting it drench my back and hair as well.

Rock bottom.

Soobin and Beomgyu soon walked back in. Soobin whispered something to him before letting him walk away. I continued to look up at the ceiling staring at the lights that hung of the wall. Well, there the record goes. I knew it wouldn't last long. It never does.

"Sura..?" I hummed letting my head drop to the side to look at him. I couldn't see his face because I was looking at the lights so it did that thing were everything goes bright.

"Kai's got some tissue's." He spoke, gently dabbing my t-shirt while Kai dabbed my hair, placing some of the tissue's on my thighs.

I grabbed the tissue on my leg, pressing it down to soak up the water.

"I think I just caught depression." I sat up shaking my now damp hair.

They both chuckled, Soobin grabbing my hand pulling me of the floor, dusting my back.

I've never felt so unconfortable in my skin. Not only was I embarresed, my cloths were uncomfortably  damp, sticking to my skin. I was begining to get cold as a draft wafted around the practice room.

I turned around to pick up the empty bottle, going out side to throw it into the bin. I had been in a relatively good mood but now I just want to punch something. Preferably Beomgyu or Yeonjun. I kept getting those images in my head. You know when your so angry at someone you in-vision yourself attacking them over and over again. Maybe it's just me.

It was still early and my day was already awful. Maybe the lack of food made my mood worse. The worst thing about is that in less then two hours I had to act completely fine. Happy. Like I'm enjoying myself. Not that the concept was entirely happy, but my character was supposed to be.

Im sure the drama lessons I took for a week will definitely help with this one.

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"Alright. Three, two, one.. go!" The director man yelled. I thought it would be like in the film's when they have those snapping things. It wasn't he just stood there and told us when to start.

Anyway, we had been told that all we had to do was interact with each other and mess around with the thing's that had been placed on the table, but what ever we did, not look up at the camera.

The urge to look up wouldn't have been so strong if they hadn't told us not to. At that moment all I was focusing on was bouncing the little white ball that sat on the plate in front of me as well as trying not to stab Yeonjun with the stick that had made it's way into my hand, as he reached over grabbing one of the ball's.

I looked over to Kai, bouncing ball at him, watching it ricochet off his hand onto the floor. He laughed watching it role along the the stained concrete with great interest.

I chuckled looking back at everyone else. They all looked so happy. I'm sure it was all for the video but that didn't prevent me envying them. Envying the look's of genuine joy and content as they threw sticks at each other.

I'd prefer not to call it jealousy. But maybe it was. I'd call it desire. The desire I had to feel anything but a singular emotion had become a 24/7 yearn of mine. It was like an ache I couldn't shake, I had no clue how to help myself.

"And stop!" I was brought from my thoughts as the middle aged man ordered everyone to do what they needed to do while they got ready for the next scene. Now they needed to do the side shot, the camera would go around the outside of us and then around the table.

I stood up stretching my back, trying to dodge the women's hand's as she reached up to flick my hair around, back into it's appropriate position's.

"Stop moving! You have thing's to be doing today! And I'd prefer to not fight you." She spoke sternly as she grabbed my arm, swiftly pulling me down on to the chair I sat on before.

She pulled the plaid beige over shirt, fully over my shoulders, tucking the white shirt into my jeans.

"I can tuck in my own cloths!" I spun around, pushing her hands away.

"Yah! Be quite!" She continued to tuck the shirt in.

"Alright all six of you, sit back down please."

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Hello, sorry its a bit late today.

ALSO THANK YOU ALL SM FOR 1.1k!!!!

I am so grateful for this and I hope you all have a good time reading it. I also have some good plans for the future of the book and it should be getting a bit more interesting within the next few chapters.

AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! HAVE A GOOD DAY OR NIGHT!!!!!!