Celeste's childhood wasn't something she loved talking about. It was filled with nothing but painful memories. Whether they were the ones from when her father, along with her brothers, left, or the ones from her mother's death and her stepfather's a...
tw: mentions of abuse toward the end of the chapter, please be careful while reading :)
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I COULDN'T help but feel like I was being watched as I headed closer to the school.
It wasn't that I had seen anyone. I had looked back multiple times, only to get greeted with nothing. It was rather the subtle stuff—like the patter of footsteps and the sound of inhales and exhales filling my ears—that shoved the feeling into my chest.
My brothers were ahead of me. I had told them that I was capable of walking on my own, and I had snapped at them when they had refused to leave my side in the beginning. Dante had silently dragged Marco along with him to the distance, saying that they should leave me alone for a short while if that was what I wanted.
I felt guilty for releasing my anger on them, but I didn't bother apologising in order to lessen that guilt. I shoved it to the deepest pits of my heart, and I let it settle over there along with every other emotion I had been feeling lately.
My eyes were sore from the tears that had occupied them since yesterday, and my chest was heavy. I was so sure that I looked like a mess, but I had insisted on coming to school, nonetheless.
I didn't want to stay alone at home. I knew that if I did, Enzo's words from earlier this morning would play at the back of my mind like a broken record, and the pain would take over my entire heart. I would sink so deeply into my agony, and I would find no way out. I would start sobbing again, and I would lose control over my breaths.
I didn't want that to happen again.
I had found it so difficult to dim my sobs after I had drowned into my twin's embrace, only a few minutes ago. He had held me tightly, not saying a word, and I had cried so much until my tears began to dry off. Armani had come to the car after a while, and he had talked to me. I hadn't listened. I couldn't.
The only thing I had done was nodding when he had asked if I still wanted to go to school. I had swallowed the rest of my sobs harshly, sensing the burning flames they left behind as they trailed down my throat. I had pulled from Marco's embrace, wiping my tears off.
I had pretended to be okay. I was still doing the same thing. I knew that my act wouldn't last, but that didn't matter much, not when pretending shielded me from questions I didn't have an honest answer to.
I cast a glance backward at one point, and I gulped. My vision blurred with heavy tears, and I let it trail back to the ground beneath my feet as soon as I made sure that no one was following me. I fiddled, and I stopped my mind from drifting back to my conversation with Lorenzo at all costs.
Thinking about it hurt so badly. It made my heart sting, and I was so tired of the constant stinging that accompanied my heart's dull beats. I wanted it to leave, but it never did. It didn't falter for a moment. It rather grew wilder and fiercer, even when I forced a smile on my face and even when I said that I was okay.
