Stay With Me (Marc Marquez)

thirteen

I'm at the Portuguese GP with Joana. I bought two VIP tickets so we can go to the paddock. I just bought two bottles of water and I join Joana in the grandstand. I give her one of the bottles, I sit next to her and I put my earphones in my bag. I sigh, I close my eyes for some minutes.

"Do you want to go to the paddock ?" - Joana asks, looking at me

"Why not." - I reply, opening my eyes

We take our bags and we walk to the paddock. The only person I don't want to see is Marc, I hope I won't see him. We show our VIP tickets and the security guard lets us enter the paddock. We meet some riders, such as Jack Miller, Andrea Dovizioso, Espargaro brothers and Fabio Quartararo. We laughed with them and we also took photos all together. We continue walking but I stop walking and I go back the other way when I see Marc and Alex. Joana sees them and she understands why I react like this. Joana grabs me by the shoulder, I turn around and I refrain to punch Marc in his face when I see his big head. I ignore him when he joins us. I talk a bit with Joana before leaving her alone with Marc to walk towards Fabio Quartararo and Johann Zarco. I start talking and laughing with them. I give Joana a sidelong look and I see Marc is still with her. I groan discreetly. I take a photo with Fabio and Johann, they talk to other fans and I wait for Joana to be alone.

2 minutes later, Joana joins me.

"Why didn't you stay ?" - Joana asks

"You know why." - I reply, grumbling. "I don't want to talk to him." I add

"He talked about you." 

"What did he say ?"

"He wants to apologize for what he did, he never wanted to hurt you." 

"Yeah, but he did."

"He also said he didn't want to talk about what happened in front of everybody and he misses you so much."

"Then why didn't he text me for months ?!"

"I asked but he didn't answer."

I start feeling angry but I stay calm.

"What else did he say ?"

"He wants you back."

"I don't believe words anymore and he won't get me as easily as he thinks."

"I know, that's what I told him."

I look away with tears in my eyes but I dry them. We continue walking in the paddock, we meet some other riders before coming back to the grandstand. I let myself fall on the seat, Joana sits next to me. I'm stuck in my head, everything is vague. I stare at the ground, I don't know what to think about. I'm so frustrated. My heart is broken. I sigh, I put my head on Joana's shoulder and I fall asleep. 

2 hrs later, Joana wakes me up because we have to come back to the hotel. The race is the day after tomorrow. Yeah we're only friday. I walk slowly because I'm still sleepy. We arrive at the hotel around 5 pm, we have to walk 20 minutes. I go into the bathroom, I take a long shower. I dry my hair and I brush it. Joana hugs me, I lay on the bed and I fall asleep again. I wake up again 30 minutes later. Joana is next to me, she smiles when she notices I woke up.

"What time is it ?" - I ask, yawning

"5:30 pm." - Joana replies, putting her phone away.

"What do you want to do ?"

"Let's go shopping ! It will make you feel better." 

I get up and I look at my face through the mirror. I groan when I see my tangled hair, I grab my hairbrush and I brush my hair. I grab my hoodie and we leave the hotel. We walk to the city center, I hear some people talking about MotoGP. We enter some clothes shops but I don't find anything I like. At least I'm with Joana and we spend great moments together. I bought some clothes to Joana, she forgot her purse at the hotel. We come back there, Joana puts her new clothes on the bed. I sigh sitting on the edge of the bed, I look at Joana who is trying her clothes. 

"What do you think ?" - Joana asks

"Everything suits you." - I say

She smiles. She put her new clothes in the cupboard of the room and she sits next to me.

"Do you have news from Marc ?" - I ask

"No. What about you ?" - Joana replies, looking at me

I grab my phone and I show her the conversation I had with Marc today. We talked about what happened lately, he apologized and I accepted but it doesn't mean it'll be easy for everything to go back to normal. Joana looks at me smiling, I smile at her too. She gives me back my phone, she turns the tv on. She puts a movie, we lay on the bed and we start watching the movie. To be honest, I barely watch the movie. I look at the stars through the window, I have a lump in my throat but I hold back my tears. I try to be focused on the movie but it's hard : my mind is focused on something else. I mean, someone else. Yeah you guessed it : Marc. 

"Are you okay ?" - Joana says, "you look sad." she adds

"I'm just thinking about Marc and it hurts." - I say

"It will be fine, trust me."

Joana hugs me before putting another movie on the TV. I can't wait to be on sunday for the race. I watch the movie with Joana but I notice she fell asleep in the middle of the movie. I lower the sound to keep watching it without waking Joana up. Actually, I turn the TV off and I go to sleep because I'm tired.