fifteen

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I'm walking in the street, when I hear someone calling me. I turn around and I see Marc. My hands start trembling and I have a lump in my throat. Marc comes to me smiling, I try to smile but to be honest it's hard. I look at him coming. 

"Are you okay ?" - Marc asks

"Yeah I'm fine, thanks. What about you ?" - I reply

Absolutely no, I'm not fine.

"I'm also fine thanks."

"I don't want to be rude but what do you want ?"

"I just wanted to know if we could spend an evening together ? I mean, we can go to the restaurant, to the cinema or we can just stay together and watch movies at your home."

 I notice he really needs it and it makes me smile.

"Yeah we can."

He looks at me smiling, I hug him and he holds me tighter. I guess we needed this hug. I yawn and I stay in Marc's arms for a while. He grabs my hand and he walks to the pizzeria. He buys 2 pizza and we walk to my house. I guess he wants to eat pizza in front of movies. We enter my house, Marc puts the pizza on the table. He pushes the couch against the wall, he comes upstairs. "What is he doing ?" I wonder before seeing him coming back with pillows and comforters. He goes upstairs again and he comes back with mattresses. I stand there like a lemon, I didn't have time to react. I sigh smiling, I grab the pizza and I sit next to Marc, who is already on one of the mattresses. He turns the tv on and he puts a movie on the tv. I go to my room upstairs and I grab my teddy bear, I come back and I lay on the mattress putting my head on my teddy. I feel so tired. I watch the movie with Marc, I close my eyes for some seconds but I fall asleep. 

                                 *Some days later*

I guess it was his way to say sorry. Yeah I'm talking about that night with Marc a few days ago. He often texts me, especially before races. He says it makes him stronger and it helps him to not feel stressed. I sigh putting my phone on my pillow. I don't know what to think, yeah I'm lost. Again. My heart is broken because I still think about what he did. I know I have to move on and to forgive him but it's not easy to move on like this. I wonder what Marc really feels about me. Joana is busy so I won't disturb her. I grab my phone and my keys. I close my the door of my house and I walk to Justin's bar. I see him inside. He hasn't finish all the work yet so I'm gonna help him.  

"Salut Justin !" - I say 

"Oh salut Léanne ! Comment tu vas ?" - Justin asks, finishing painting the wall

"Je vais bien et toi ?"

"Tout va bien. Quoi de neuf ?"

"Rien de spécial, je voulais savoir si tu as besoin d'aide."

"En fait, ça tombe bien parce que j'allais t'envoyer un message après avoir finir le mur."

I smile, I hug him tight.

"Comment puis-je t'aider ?"

"J'ai besoin d'aide pour finir quelques bricolles et installer tout le reste demain. J'ai fini de tout peindre et il faut juste attendre que ça séche."

"Pas de soucis. D'ailleurs, t'as des nouvelles de Max ?"

"Il m'a dit qu'il va arriver demain." 

"Ok."

Justin shows me where he needs help and of course I help him. I tie my hair before starting helping. We finish almost everything at the end of the afternoon. We'll put everything in tomorrow when the paint is dried. Justin stops the music, he put music on his speaker. We clean everything, Justin closes his bar before leaving. 

"On va chez toi ou on va directement chez moi?" - I ask

"Je passe juste chez moi prendre de quoi me changer. Je peux prendre une douche chez toi ?"

-Justin asks

"Oui pas de soucis."

We come back to Justin's house, he takes some clothes and we walk to my house. Justin takes a shower first and I'm waiting for him to finish. I look at the ground sadly, I sigh and I stop looking at the ground.

"T'es sur que ça va ?" - Justin asks coming back

"Oui, j'étais perdue dans mes pensées." - I reply, looking at him 

He hugs me and I walk to the bathroom. I take a shower quickly and I get dressed. I brush my hair and I join Justin in the living room.

"Tu veux faire quoi ce soir ?" - I ask, entering the living room

"Sincèrement, j'en ai aucune idée. Je suis vraiment fatigué." - Justin says, "Je pense je vais me coucher tot." he adds

"On se mange un truc en ville ?" 

"Ouais !"

He smiles, I like his dimples. We walk to the city center and we order something to eat. To be honest I'm not hungry. We take our food and we go back to Justin's house. We eat quickly before we say good night to each other. I walk to my house listening to music. I enter y house, I go to the bathroom and I brush my teeth. I sigh going to my room. I put my phone on charge and I fall asleep on my bed. 

Suddenly, I wake up in the middle of the night : someone is calling me on my phone. Marc. I grumble and I don't reply. Idiot. Why did he call me right now ? Perhaps he doesn't know what time it is here. I turn my phone off and I fall asleep again.  

                                     *2 months later*

I'm walking around the track. Yeah I'm at a MotoGP grand prix, but this time I'm alone. I didn't buy a VIP ticket, I didn't want to go to the paddock. I'm on the edge of a barrier, with earphones in my ears. I also watch the qualifying. I wonder how Marc feels. By the way, he tried to call me again and he sent me a lot of texts. I only replied to some of his texts. I barely want to talk with him. I still think about what happened even if he apologized and he also makes efforts. I don't know what's wrong with me. "Why me ?" I wonder. I stop thinking about it and I enjoy the weekend.

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