Stay With Me (Marc Marquez)

seventeen

I feel so tired. Also disgusted. I still see him kissing this b*tch. Joana is sleeping but I can't. I still think about what happened. I look at my phone. 3 am. I sigh and I get up without making noises. I take my earphones and I leave the hotel. I walk to the beach and I sit on a bench. I sigh and I grab my earphones to listen to music. I realize I forgot my hoodie. Well... it's not a big problem. I look at the sky, I smile seeing the stars. I get up from the bench and I walk in Los Angeles. I see a lot of people drunk but I don't pay attention. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder, I turn my head and I see Alex.

"What are you doing here ?" - He asks

"I can't sleep. What about you ?" - I reply

"I heard you going out. I can't sleep as well." 

"Wanna walk a bit with me ?"

"Yeah of course."

I smile, we continue walking in LA without talking. I don't know how I really feel inside. I look at Alex, at least he is still here for me. I yawn, Alex looks at me smiling. He takes me in his arms and he holds me tight. We come back to the hotel without saying anything. We hug each other one last time and we go to sleep. I enter my room and I lay on the bed without making noises. Joana is still sleeping. 

                            *Next Day*

Joana tries to wake me up. I open a little bit my eyes. 

"What time is it ?" - I ask with a sleepy voice

"11:30 am."  - Joana replies smiling

I sit on the bed and I tie my hair. Joana sits next to me, she grabs the hairbrush and gives it to me. I untie my hair and I brush it. 

"Do you have news from Alex or Marc ?" - I ask

"Only from Marc." - Joana says

"What did he say ?" 

"He still dates his girl but he misses you."

"To be honest, I don't." 

"I know, I admit I don't miss him as well." 

I sigh, I get up and I get dressed quickly.

"Anyway ! What do you want to do today ?" 

"Why not spending time outside, like going to the beach."

"Yeah of course !"

I put our beach towels and some stuff in my bag. We leave our hotel and we walk to the beach. I notice Joana isn't so well. I take her in my and I rub her back. We arrive to the beach and we are surprised to see that there aren't a lot of people. I sit on the sand and Joana lays on her beach towel. 

"Can you put music on the speaker please ?" 

"Which music do you want ?"

"One Direction please."

I connect my phone to the speaker and I put 1D music. I also lay on my beach towel and I close my eyes. I open my eyes sighing : every time I close my eyes, I see Marc again kissing his b*tch on the beach. What's wrong with me ?!  I take my clothes off and I put them away. I guess Joana does the same thing when I hear her moving. 

"Wanna come with me in the sea ?"

"Yeah why not !" 

I get up and I follow her to the sea. I really hope we won't see Marc, I don't want to see him anymore. I enter the hot water, Joana is already all wet. Joana pushes me in the water, I push her as well laughing. I stare at her. She's so beautiful, more than me. She's perfect. I look away with tears in my eyes. Yeah inside I'm broken : a piece of me is missing and I don't know what it is or who it is. I sigh and I start coming back to our spot. 

"Lélé are you okay ?" - Joana asks

"I don't know." - I reply

I lay on my beach towel and I hide my face with my cap. I let tears fall on my cheeks. I'm so broken, I'm tired of being like this. I'm tired of pretending that everything is okay. I miss Marc so much but he broke my heart. I put my hands behind my head and I try to sleep. 5 minutes later I open my eyes, I can't sleep and I hear Joana coming. 

"How are you sis ?" - Joana asks

"Broken" - I reply, sobbing

"Marc ?"

"Yeah, I miss him so much."

"It's going to be okay sis, I promise."

I try to stop crying, I sit on my beach towel and I sigh. Joana puts a strand of hair behind my ear, it makes me smile. I feel a bit better but I still think about Marc and it is annoying. Joana puts our stuff in my bag and we leave the beach. We go to the hotel.

"You want to take a shower first ?" - I ask

"Yes please." - Joana replies

We enter in our room and Joana goes to the bathroom to take her shower.  I take my clothes and I wait for Joana to finish. Why do I have always Marc in mind ? I feel broken and sad, I hate feelings. I don't want to feel love again anymore. I stare into space without paying attention to Joana coming back in the room. I get up without saying anything and I walk to the bathroom. I take my clothes off and I enter the shower. I put my head against the wall and I let the hot water fall on me. I also let tears fall. Then, I sit in the bathtub and I put my head against the wall again. I don't know what's wrong with me. Marc dates another girl, he probably forgot me. I hear Joana calling me, I get up and I wash myself and I get dressed before I leave the bathroom.

"There is an interview of Marc. Wanna watch it?" - Joana

"Why not." - I say shrugging

I brush my hair while Joana turns the tv on. I put the hairbrush on the bed and I sit next to Joana.  We watch the interview of Marc. One of the questions is if he has a girlfriend or not and he said that he broke up with her. 

"By the way, what about Léanne?" - The journalist asks

"Well, we stopped talking months ago because to be honest with you I hurt her and yeah I regret it. I miss her so much, I'm lost in my feelings and I never realized it was her since the beginning. I ignored everything about her, I pretended to be happy but inside I'm still sad because she's not in my life anymore. So yeah I love her." 

Then, Marc starts to cry. He hides his face in his hands. I'm also lost because I want to believe him but my heart is broken. I stay silent, I don't know how to react. My phone vibrates and  I notice it's a message from Marc. I read it from the notification, he asks me if we can see each other at the next grand prix. I have a lump in my throat and I grit my teeth not to cry. 

"What should I do ?" - I ask

"Accept it Lélé ! Give him one last chance." - Joana replies

"Are you sure ?" 

"Yeah !"

I turn my phone on, I go to our conversation :

Léanne : Yeah why not. Where do you want us to meet ?
Marc : The paddock ?
Léanne : Yes if you want to. 
Marc : I know it can be odd but I bought something for you 🥺.
Léanne : Oh... what is it ?
Marc : It's a surprise so you will see. 
Léanne : Okay. 

I put my phone on the bed sighing. The next grand prix is Le Mans and of course I will go there.