𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙 𝖘𝖎𝖉𝖊

𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶

TW! talking about depression, self-harm, eating disorder and suicidal thoughts.

Im so sorry if someone is going thru stuff like that im always there for you <3 you can text me on my instagram: _the.secret.side__

𝓝𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓪 𝓹𝓸𝓿:

The last weeks I mostly pretended that I'm better, yeah okay Im happy when I am with Draco but it got worse, i started to self-harm again, I throw up after eating when I'm alone. Its crazy how Draco helped me in the last weeks he's always there for me and as soon as he would notice that I'm not eating anything he was there for me and supported me. That's why I started to hide it, that I'm not eating anymore. sometimes I scare myself how my mind works thousand voices in my head that scream at me that I'm nothing, that I weight too much, that I should kill myself or that no one cares.

I wanna escape my head every stupid day, I wanna give up.

Im laying in the bed next to Draco, his hand is laying on my stomach and I watch at the ceiling. I noticed that I'm having a panic-attack my fingers started to shake and my eyes started to tear up. I tried to calm myself but it didn't worked. I got up and put on a Hoodie from Draco and some random jeans that I found on the floor. Then I heard Draco, so I grabbed a book and got out of the dorm but before, I heard Draco shouting at me. So I ran faster I don't know where I'm gonna go I just follow where my legs take me.

thirty minutes later I found myself in the forbidden forest by a little lake that was covered in moss and some little trees that fell over. I heard frogs around me and some little birds. I laid down on a very big tree that fell across the lake and started to read, my legs are still shaking and I'm still crying.

𝓓𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓸 𝓹𝓸𝓿:

Fuck! I knew something was wrong with her, she got skinnier in the last weeks and I tried to help her as much as I could. I ran around in the dorm trying to find clothes and my wand. I rand into Pansy's and Blaise Dorm, as I walked in I walked directly out again, they fucked.

Pansy: "Eh come in"

Draco: " Ness ran away did u saw her?"

Blaise: "she did what?! and no we didn't saw her mate I'm sorry"

Draco: "I don't fucking know Blaise!!"

Pansy:" Oh Fuck she wanted to talk to me yesterday about something and I said I going to lis"

Draco:" Do you know where she could go?"

Pansy: " maybe in the library or the Astronomy tower"

Draco: "thanks"

I was almost out of the dorm again when pansy shouted " We gonna search her to after we got dressed"

First I walked to the Astronomy Tower but she wasn't there, I ran to the library and search every fucking corner but she wasn't there either, I searched Daphnée but she also didn't know where she was.

𝓝𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓪 𝓹𝓸𝓿:

I'm here for like 5 hours and I don't wanna go back I can't look someone in the eyes I'm to ashamed from myself. I heard voices like two hours ago so I went further in the forest in some bushes. It started to rain a while ago so my clothes are completely wet and I'm shivering from the cold.

I walked a little bit around to find a place were I'm protected from the rain and found a place with very high trees and like a cave from rocks.

𝓓𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓸 𝓹𝓸𝓿:

Its now 7 hours later and Blaise, Pansy and I searched, Nessa the whole time in the castle, we even asked Harry Potter and his friends, they said they saw her like running outside, so we looked outside by Hagrid house and the garden house, The quidditch field and the forest. But nothing we didn't even heard something its like she's gone completely.

Im scared I knew she is suicidal so I'm afraid that she wants to do something that will kill her.